ZT's blog: "The way I think......"

So here I sit. Listening to the TV in the background, sitting in my parents living room telling myself I really should be sleeping. But I can't. I don't know why. I always seem to have trouble sleeping. My mind just goes and goes and goes. And normally things I think about are nothing to worry about or anything spectacular. It seems to run the most right before I try to lay down to sleep. I'm sure this happens to a lot of people. But have you ever wondered why? Maybe it's because I'm alone, nothing is really distracting me from the random thoughts I've got going on. My brain is stuck in the future. Granted I live my life day to day, I'm constantly thinking of what my life is going to be like in a year or two or 12. Will I be successful? Will I be as I am now? God, I hope not. That's just sad to think about.

I guess I'm just to a point in my life where I'm ready for things to start happening. But that won't happen until I start making some moves. Which I plan on doing. But I always question myself. Are the decisions that I've made for myself to start my path the right one? I know that I'll be led to where I need to be, but I wish I could just figure it all out now. I'm so back and forth in what I want to do with my life. But it always seems to go back to one thing, wanting to be that ear for people who needs some one to listen. I've been doing it all my life, might as well make a career out of it right?

I'd really like to be more confident in the decisions I'm making for myself. I guess I'm just scared of really screwing up and not making the right choice. But I'll never know unless I try. At least that's what people keep telling me.