Today, July 7, is a very important day in history. It marks the first in nine days of epic festivities known as the “Running of the Bulls” in Pamplona Spain. This is where The govt turns loose several dozen angry bulls to run rampant through the streets of that city, streets packed with intended targets of those bulls… seemingly intelligent people who wish to tell the grandkids one day: “Yes, I stood in the street as great swarms of deadly beasts bore down on me, intent on my destruction, and I did it on purpose!” This would never happen in any American city today for several reasons.
1. The animal-rights crowd would protest that somehow the bulls might be damaged in such an event, and could not give the slightest rip about any humans in imminent peril of life and limb.
2. OSHA would have a great problem with the limitless liabilities presented to the city by maimed citizens trampled and/or gored by said hairy beasts.
3. The environmentalists and the EPA would decry the toxic waste left behind by such an event.
4. Vegetarians would revolt at such a great display of beef products.
5. The street-cleaner union would go on strike.
6. Most Americans to show up for such an event would be looking for someone to sue afterwards.
7. Global-warming freaks would decry all this running around and sweating, which would only increase temperatures, no doubt.
8. The conspiracy-theory crowd would put forth the unfounded notion that the run was done on a dead end street, so as to disenfranchise voters for a certain political party.
9. No one would be allowed to film such a thing, as it would run afoul of “violence” prohibitions, and thus no commercials could be sold, and the whole thing would peeter out.
By the time the American healthy & safety Nazis finished “modifying” the running of the bulls in Pamplona to “American” standards, it would turn into folks wearing helmets & rubber suits, watching a single hamster run around in the wheels in his cage.
