Mona Lisa
(Italian: La Gioconda, French:La Joconde) Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1503–1506 Oil on poplar
Look at the painting, and my comments on it, and see if you found what I did. Interested to know if I am crazy or not... but I think I know the answer to that question...
The Mona Lisa is probably the world's most famous painting of an unknown subject. She is said to have the most sublime smile ever to be seen, but I think it could have been gas. Most people do not know this, but it was painted on Poplar wood, not normal canvas. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 4 years to paint this portrait, so he must have either used a very small brush, or he was diddling her behind hubby's back, which is the true source of her enigmatic smile. Mona Lisa is also Nat King Coles best song, in my humble opinion. As a world-renown art expert and maker of baloney sammiches, I will explain this painting to you.
If you look at it, which is the best way to view art in my humble opinion, you see in the background off to her right, a fuzzy small hill and a clearly drawn dirt road... the line of the dirt road (if extended by imagination) become the line of whatever it is Mona has draped over her left shoulder, and at the critical point where this drapery joins the line of the road, the color of the drape is now the same color as the road....completely opposite as the color of the rest of the drape. The ruts in the dirt road match in number and color with the folds of whatever it is she has draped over her left shoulder. There is also this previously-mentioned small hill off to her right, that if you again by imagination connect it to the other side of the hill to her left.... Where this thing draped over her left shoulder disappears from view, the line is immediately picked up by the fuzzy outline of the hill that later emerges from her right. The river off to Mona's right in the background ends right where the dirt road begins, and disappears behind the subject exactly where her smile is to be found. The river is an obvious contrivance, as there is no evidence of it on her left side. The line of the river/lake further serves to cut the painting into thirds, rather than half. All of these features of the painting conspire to visually cut it in half... the focus is further narrowed if you note that ALL of the detail in this portrait lies in the face of Mona, the dirt road, and the creases of whatever it is the she has draped on her left shoulder.
If again you look at it, which is still the best way to view art in my humble opinion... you see that the most luminous (bright) area of the piece is her breast. But there is no lewd detail to her breast, so the focus follows the lines of the river, dirt road, and whatever it is she has draped over her left shoulder. The second-most luminous area of the piece is the "different-color" portion of whatever it is that she has draped over her left shoulder, which refracts light and focus to the other side of her smile...everything in the painting, from the slope of her shoulders to the line of trees in the background to her right, the detail, luminescence, the river/lake...everything in the large painting directs one to nothing else but this smile. Most paintings direct attention to the eyes, but the base of Mona's eyes line up with other background features to direct attention downward. It seems to me that her neck is overly long and uncomfortably turned, to accommodate all this intricate geometry that is not apparent to any but world-renown art experts such as I who had not looked at this thing in detail or tried to analyze before tonight.
The reason that the Mona Lisa is loved so much by men, and not so much by women, is the purpose behind the painting that no other world-renown art expert has ever found. Everything in the painting demands your attention upon her mouth. Is she happy, sad, resigned to her fate, ate too much chili... and can mortal man ever know the difference between a happy woman and someone you would not want to share an elevator after a chili cook-off? What IS a happy woman, and do they really exist, or do they only appear so when details are fuzzy and your focus on her breast?
This is the genius of Leonardo, and why it took him 4 years to complete. It was both a simple portrait of an unknown person, and a grand statement on the plight of men, understanding the inscrutable and unfathomable female.
These are my opinions, and mine alone. I could be wrong. I know as much about art as I do thermodynamics and how it applies to aborigines. I know even less about women, and trust no man who pretends better insight. In fact I know nothing. So never mind.
Not one of my better blogs...its monday for crying out loud
