As I stare into the mirror, I'm amazed at what I see.
It's crazy what these hazel brown eyes seem to be telling me.
Streaks of worry and fear and pain are starting to line my eyes.
Ominous circles are taking their place as a result of my late night cries.
I thought that by leaving the prison to which I had been confined
I would lose the stress and worries and a new happiness I would find.
Although my presence is not in that place I used to sadly call home
I can't seem to escape all of the anxieties that from that house always come.
I used to be up all night, awake and immersed in my fears.
Now I'm getting midnight calls from my mom shedding painful tears.
Through stiffled sobs, I hear her words, her dire, helpless plea:
She whispers softly, "Valerie, I'm scared, Please, Oh please, can you help me?"
But what am I supposed to do, I'm only a child working to keep myself sane.
I shouldn't have to take the role of mother to woman from which I came.
She's supposed to be protecting me, and I'm the one saving her?
What can I do but help this woman combat the man who says he loves her?
I offer a refuge in my humble home, free from his tyranical reign.
A small hiatus from the house that reminds her of ten years of heartache and pain.
She says she'll come and leave the man who scarred hear body and burned her face.
So I wait.... and I wait.... but she doesn't show. Once again she's chosen his cold embrace.
She chooses to remain with with the man who tears her life apart.
This man who I know can't love her because he doesn't have a heart.
So how do I tell my mother, the one who gave life to me,
"I'm sorry mom, I can't handle this. Please just leave me be."
"I don't want to hear you crying. I don't want to see your battered face."
"This is all because I love you, but I can't take your place."
"If I could make you leave him and save your family,
I'd be there in a minute... but I cant. I can only free me."
"You must make your decision as to how you spend your life."
"You can be happy if you want to, or you can continue living in strife."
So I look back into my mirror, my face in a blur of tears.
The streams of pain that wash away my innumerable fears.
I then turn away, and wipe my eyes. My smile takes its place.
I return to my life, hiding the pain that I see in that mirror's face.
