This is the last time my whole world falls apart. I fall in love with an amazing man and i go to tell him how i feel and i end up losing him over it. This pain is not worth it. I wont be going threw this again. I realize once and for all im not loveable. I cant be loved so I'm going to stop trying. Maybe I should have stoped before this last time maybe a wonderful guy wouldnt have gotten hurt. I went into this relationship knowing I wasnt loveable. I should have stayed away and protected him from the same pain. I thought maybe it was the guys I've been choosing. Maybe I am loveable just hadnt found the right guy yet. Well, they say you always go with your heart the first time. They are right, dont ever second guess yourself when it comes to the heart. I was right the first time. Im not loveable never have been and never will be. If I had just admited it sooner then a wonderful guy wouldnt have gotten hurt to. But, I wont be making this mistake again. I refuse to not only feel this pain again myself. But, I also refuse to let another sweet man get hurt. Im not loveable oh well no big deal. Moving on with my life alone now.
