I sit here taking a deep breath as I prepare to srite this. An empty feeling courses through the depths of my soul with each letter I type. Yet the only way to feel better is to get it out.
I have what I call "The Curse of The Lone Wolf." Like a rogue wolf, I will run alone most of the time, but there are times I feel the need to run with a pack. Problem is, the other "wolves" scare me. So I continue to run alone.
yet by running alone, I miss the best things of life. That simple smile that says "I care." That pat on the back that says "Nice jog." That gentle hug that says "I love you."
I can honestly say that I have had no one say those three words to me with any real meaning for over ten years..... Not even from my family. (Sorry if that made you tear up Whiskey, but it's the truth) Now I am sure that tons of people (Or the few that actually give a shit about what I write) will leave comments that say "I love you." While it is a nice gesture, those are VERY strong words that should only be said if you REALLY mean it. I tend to just say "Luv ya" because I feel so strongly about that. To me love is the willingness to forfeit everything a person has for the one they love. Now I know no one on here would do that for someone they know only as an online person, so please don't leave that in my blog comments. That will just make me feel like you are doing it out of pity.
Speaking of pity: There will be people that think I'm writting this for pity. No you fuck-tard. It's called expression. I need to express how I feel right now because if I don't I am going to lose my fucking mnd. If you don't believe that I don't care and you can remove me as a friend on this site because I don't want you as one.
Well if your still with me, thanks for reading it. Just needed to get it out.
