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PsychoDiver's blog: "Suicide Camera"

created on 11/04/2006  |  http://fubar.com/suicide-camera/b21226
I bleed the dream with this life I'd love to redeem I got inner children within me from this hell I evade I blame the seed's that made me Sometime's I feed the crop this tear of life From gun's to blade's to battle's to strife/ I fucking love it This opaque window in my head Screaming for a new dawn awaiting the dead to transcend God-Send this chaos to order The theories we speak The dream's we dream The voice's we hear The soldier's The gun's Oh how we fear. Speak this truth Breathe this feebleness Exhale this talent I'll never place down my life without a fight Rosary bead's to hold Rip the tongue that speak's the untold. I'm dead already I have no fear I feast on your heaven I'm the deadly sin's of seven. Reap this life I fucking love it Reap this body I love it I'll fight till I die 54 coming ballistic at your front door. You bring the flower's And I'll set the casket The execution my signature Your blood is the ink The pavement is the covenant Where you'll forever sink...
A lil depressed but it's not gonna affect my new talk on Suicide.... So lets talk about suicide.......mainly amongst teen's since it's the most covered group in this topic. Yes I can admit I'm a bit suicidal in the head and sometime's I pray for it to come, but I can't since I made a oath to never attempt again as you know from my previous talking's. On the other hand....many teen's don't have the willpower to make an oath like me because their depression has exceeded it's point from the "No Return" sign. Depression is a hell of a mind drug in my opinion. Sometime's we lose it, sometime's we go crazy, sometime's we cry, sometime's we get angry, but in the end it's going to lead to one of two choice's.....are you gonna live or are you gonna see what's on the other side? When I was single I was extremely depressed to the point where I couldn't care what happened anymore. And I'm not gonna get into the Joanie thing since we all know it by heart. I mean no one want's to be alone in life....I thought I did, but hopelessness and isolation caught up to me. And it destroyed me in 2001, 2003, and 2005 (Hiro,Sega,Joanie). See a pattern with the 2 years? I'm starting to wonder if my family was blessed with bad luck. I'm sure everyone is saying by now, "But Ryan everyone goes through the motions!". True but are some people cursed with bad luck? Maybe not maybe I'm just ranting but it seem's like it. Especially since I have a huge feeling my 2'nd grandmother (not related/known since I was born/practically family) is going to pass in 2007. Her husband passed in 1999. Another reason I'm thinking on 2 year's. Just bare with me and my probably false superstition. So ya we all suffer, we all die, we all go through hell.....it's a vicious circle of life like Karma. If your depressed and contemplating to attempt.......don't.......in my opinion I think the only reason's one should commit is on the following: -Completed all their goals in life and suffering on their death bed -At least tried to attain their main goal in life 1,000 time's cause let's face it 1,000 is a strong number and life is short to go 2,000. So ya you might think these 2 idea's above are either inhumane or beyond stupid.....but once again thats just my opinion. Reaon's to NOT commit: -Girlfriend/Boyfriend left you for another -Your parent's call you a mistake -You have no friend's -Your not smart or beautiful -Your constantly abused verbally or physically -Or just no one likes you If you think your previous Ex was your one and only......your wrong....your one and only is your best friend, your real love, your real happiness. There the one that make's you smile the instant you see them. There the one that makes you feel like your 16 when your 80 years old. There the one that makes your heartbeat fast even though you've grown on each other. There the one that even though you'll have fight's for the rest of your life you'll both work it out without problems. There the one that comes to see you when you least expect it and surprise you. There the one that calls up your cell phone and just wanted to say they missed you nothing more. There even the one that both of you have even gotten used to each other's farts and B.O. Parent's calling YOU a mistake? No one has the right to say that not even the one's that raised you or have authority over you. And if you say that to your kid there not the mistake.....you are! Don't blame your kid for their mistake's that you never bothered to help with! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF A PARENT YOU CUNT FLAVORED SHIT HEAD! Prove your parent's wrong by getting farther in this short life to smother it in their neglectful face! No friend's? Don't worry you'll alway's have me as a friend ^_^. Psycho Diver never rid's people because I'M NOT SOME STUCK UP EMO BITCH WHO THINK'S HE'S BETTER THEN YOU AND SHOW'S IT ON MYSPACE OF ALL PLACE'S! REMEMBER FUCKER'S YOU MIGHT HAVE 8492034870 FRIEND'S ON MYSPACE AND A FEW IN REALITY BUT WHEN JUDGEMENT DAY COME'S YOUR ASS BETTER BE PREPARED TO BE RAPED BY GOD'S WRATH! Not smart or beautiful? Doesn't matter as long as you have good intention's in life your soul will be cleaner then that of a rich white asshole who works at the Jacob's Javitz Center. Abused? For verbal just remember to ignore the asshole's and always say "Stick's and Stone's may break my bone's but words can NEVER hurt me!" For physical just remember man.......karma......that shit does exist! I can't even begin to tell you the shit that's happened to me and the result on the one putting the hurt on me. No one likes you? Just say FUCK'EM! Don't attempt to commit.......you might not end up in the right place in the afterlife for all you know. Bite the bullet! If you can't succeed don't worry maybe the next life you will. I may not know you....I may never meet you......but just remember Psycho Diver may be crazy.....but he's alway's here to help you...... (This is a blog from my Myspace profile in case there's confusion.)
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