Queen of Wonderland's blog: "soulful life"

yeah shes flippin gorgeous. I wanna go into hiding now, I'll be in a cabinet if you need me. *will someone bring me a taco, some salsa and chips and a sweet tea?*

Looking outside from the outside Looking inside from the outside. Every victim becomes famous I, infamous, never as before squandering worthlessly I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams intent on work blue collar farmer's tan dig, digging, dug plant, planting, planted grow, growing, grew starbucks wants natural organic coffee plastic rings money sings tick tock captian hook screams

Love is such a powerful word. Tearing down walls to get to my heart and in just an instant love can break my heart into millions of pieces. On the outside I'm so secure, I've got it all together and I know exactly what I want. On the inside I'm lost and lonely, crying myself to sleep, I listen and speak vulgar languages trying to deny my own self. Looking in the mirror I see every scar, the flaws jump out at me, my eyes crooked, my nose too big, they say theres a surgery for that but I'm not made of money or else I'd be green, like some little alien. It seems to me that while I lust for this one in particular guy the one I really want comes home soon. He's been away in a war, now he's coming home, it's not love, but rather a lust of how much I can see myself jumping in his arms, being with him, just talking with him about everything. My current boyfriend would kill me, he's overly jealous, accused me of cheating on him when I gave my stepbrother a hug, hates it when I hang out with my best friend when me and her ride the quads or shoot pool. He thinks that every time me and her are together that we go "boyfriend" shopping. But being with him makes everyone else happy so maybe I should be lonely and unhappy because I hate disappointing people, especially my mom. Every morning I wake up with a tear stained pillow.

I sat back today and watched a guitar crumble into ashes. A soft breeze carried them up and over the newly mowed grass. Softly they floated, I felt the idea of music twisting in the trees, whipping branches whistling to the birds, flowers setting a stage for the bees. Sienna browns glowed from a reflected coal, almost a radioactive neon, it too faded. The last of my old sketchbook was gone, all thats left in the middle of powdery ashes lays the silver coil; like a stretched slinky, broken, I left it to cool before bending it into random shapes and tossing it away. Parts of my life were wasted putting effort into the sketches, musical designs was my passion for that particular book. I had drawn close to 70 guitars, some with the same molded styles but never the same colors or scheme. But that's in the past, now all that remains are a few paper thin ashes dissolving like a bubble, although it's gone and we can't see it, they linger, and reproduce into the earth. Soon my ashes will become another part of this world and maybe even reappear in a new sketchbook. However, the fact remains that today I burnt a guitar.

Im giving a pint of blood tomorrow at my high school, then leaving there to drive to winston, and get in a car with 3 guys all going to Raleigh . . .a 3 hour drive with boys ages 18-25. This is gonna bring on some interesting conversations and no sleep. Anyways I get officially sworn into the Navy on Friday. Yay me! I love you all and I'll be back sometime this weekend and maybe with pictures, maybe not, I'll prolly forget to take my camera (as always). *****************my special boys***************** HI JAMES - AT CAMP LEJEUNE, in JACKSONVILLE. NC!! HI FRANK THE TANK - IN JAPAN!! HI RICHARDS - SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD!! HI JOSH - IN IRAQ!! ************gotta respect these boys************

Many of you know I joined the Navy and today I found out today that I'll be leaving for basic at the beginning of July. When I find out where I'll be stationed, I'll ask who wants my address for up there. It's going to be eight weeks in Chicago! IF anyone lives near the base - I'm going to seriously need help getting used to the area, any takers on being my tour guide?

A dream won in bloodshed Splattered across a nation broken promises, hearts and bones golden eyes glistening A poisoning of lead the glory of temptation life cast on an iron throne are you even listening? Do plants not compete for sunlight animals for a mate Fire and water to quench peace is in denial Can you see the peace fight? killing us in a days fate niggers were lynched so we smiled, to be senile be offensive be proud god smiles at your sins poly mono STD bombing WTC stock market Jesus some one feed us

Okay so becca doesn't know I'm on her fubar right now but I thought this would be a great time to make fun of her. She wears heels and mini skirts and never wears anything remotely country and yet right now she's outside washing some cattle for a show, and I'm sick so I'm totally just pwning her computer and her life. She's weird, shes scared of horses, she is very peaceful, I've only seen her really mad a few times but I've seen her drunk and fighting alot. I don't let her drink much anymore. We met 13 years ago, I actually came over to give her money for a bet and then I discovered her computer was on! hahaha I'm mean but I guess I won't write too much or else she's going to be pissed. Bye for now!! LUV Amb3r kekka bugs bestie for lyfe and most gangstarrrr bestie!

countindacheda and chief72 both of them will get a sfw salute.