Dwaine and I made the two hr drive Friday night to go pick up my daughter and drop my son off with his grandma.
We made good time there and stopped off at Starbucks and giggled and laughed so much my stomach hurt from laughing...we joked away on the way back and on one of my numerous gotta go stops both Dwaine and my daughter made fun of me for having to stop yey again after drinking my coffee.
Soooo after stopping we head off again and my daughter who gets car sick and always falls asleep on long drives was sleeping away, Dwaine and I were listening to the radio and joking around like we always do when we came to a complete stop...a huge traffic line...sooooo we stop and sit in the car and wait, Dwaine and I cant see whats stopping traffic ahead soo we just assume it's gotta be a wreck. Then we hear the wailing sirens of an ambulance.
We joke around some more and then it was like we both felt it...same time we felt it. We saw a life flight helicopter land...then take off then bout ten minutes later the now silent ambulance passes...
We both felt it....every hair on my body stood up, I felt the tears come to my eyes and I felt them, if you have never felt someone who has recently passed away its undescriable the feeling you get..this one was strong, they were young..too young, I just knew they were around 22 yrs of age and they were hanging around the accident scene, there was someone else even younger that passed on too..they were not as strong of presense and I only felt them for just a split second. I asked dwaine if he had felt it and I knew he had felt something cuz the look on his face.
When we finnaly were moving along after waiting 45 minutes we passed the scene and it was grim...a big four wheeler had jack knifed and hit a car..the look I saw in those fire fighters and police officers eyes as we slowly passed said whatever they saw was still haunting them it was so bad.
God has our life planned...Dwaine and I spoke of this as we headed towards home....we spoke of how if we had not stopped at starbucks, if we had not made that last restroom stop...would we have been up closer to the truck, would it have hit us? We spoke how God has us do small things in order to avoid death...that it is not our time and how each person in life has a pre-set plan that God has already set for them. How just maybe us being held up 45 minutes may have prevented something else in a chain of events...deep discussion we had.
Later that evening I saw what looked like fireflies darting about the trees....I rarly see stuff like trhat..I feel stuff, and just know things sometimes. I dont want to see stuff. My whole life I have been able to do this and when I do see them I either ignore them or tell them to go away. When my grandfather came one night it freaked me out so bad I told him to go away and I have never seen him again. Life is strage..call me crazy if ya will. Its why I dont hardly ever tell of these things. Its been on my mind sense and I think of how life and death is always so present in our lifes.
As I feel death I feel the life of the seven month old baby in my belly as he kicks...I think of how his life is already planned out by God...how just a few years ago I would have fell over laughing if ya had told me I be on my way to having my third child....now I am amazed because God knew of this child...he is in Gods plans..this tiny unborn soul who will enter this world soon.
I thank God daoily for bringing Dwaine in my life.....the love we have for each other is indescriable, when I look in his eyes the rest of the world fades away, I thank God for having two healthy children and for this lil one my love and I are having together..this unborn child who is half me and half my loves. Life is precious.
