So I am finally sitting here with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Wow that's a first.
First off I am starting this blog just because I need to so get some things off my chest and because I feel some things need to be said.
First off why is it that I always seem like the target? Why am I always the one getting my heart broke? I keep asking myself what did I do to deserve to be treated like this?
I give almost my all to someone just to hear later that they cant even give me any. What's with that? Why do I feel like I sit here and waisted the last week with this person? I had it in my head that me and him shared so much in common how could I go wrong with him?
What's the deal with me? What is so messed up about me that no one wants to be with me?
I get told everyday by guys on here and yahoo and other places as well that I am gorgeous, sexy, blah blah blah and all that good stuff. But see it doesn't mean a thing to me if I don't have feelings for that person back. I look at it this way they are either so bored and horny they have nothing better to do then to spend it oogling a fat chick thinking they will see something on cam or they do it because no one wants to be with there skanky asses.
I met a great guy on here...yah I know your saying o god here she goes again why can't she just stop meeting guys on the net...and yes I know I know it's never going to get me anywhere.
But anyways as I was saying I met this guy on here and well let's just say I fell hard for him. We have a total lot of things in common and well I believe if it wasn't for my underrating his picture that we would have never met. We spent the last week or so discussing how things would be if we was to pursue a relationship and come to the conclusion that we would take things slow.
He lives 893 miles from me so I figured that would be our biggest hangup. We had discussed the possibility of later on down the road one of us moving to the other ones town but hadn't decided yet who would go where. I was his kool-aid and that was all that mattered to me. I finally had found someone that understood me for me.
I had some of the best conversations with this particular man and some I will never forget or don't ever want to forget that is. We finally had it figured out each of us was happy with the other.
This is were it gets complicated. This man really has a great heart and soul and any girl who is lucky enough to be with him better hold on to him forever because well if you don't you are crazy.
If I could give up everything I have right now just to be with him I would. That's how much I care for him and how much I would do for him. He means that much to me.
I know he will read this eventually or I hope he will and when he does I hope he realizes that he holds a special place in my heart. One that no other guy could ever take.
Yes I am upset at him for spending the last week telling me what I wanted to hear only to tell me today that he doesn't think it will work. I am not going to hold that against him but I am going to still try my best to prove to him that I care for him and that I am there if he shall ever need anything.
So anyways I am closing this blog out with a few songs that I chose for me and him. These songs have a special meaning to me and him both. I am sure that he knows.
Good bye and thank you for taking the time to read this.
Stacie
