Well i dont know where to start or how to start how hurt and confused i am by my fiance. He says he loves me yet he cant seem to find 5 minutes of his time off work to just spend with me to work on us. He wont talk to me nothing. Last week i sprang my ankle and had to risk worse injury by walking on it early because he wouldnt help me. Need i mention how dangerous it was seeing how i live on the second floor of an apartment building? so i had to suck up the pain from the spain and do everything. Then when i bring up him coming home from work and jumping on here till 5 am he says "your making something out of nothing" now im thinking WTF? how am i doing that just cause i ask for 5 minutes dont get me wrong i know he wants "david time" but ya know what "david time" isnt keeping this relationship together. Its me that keeps us going cause i wont quit or give up. Stupid of me I KNOW
like last night i texted him this kinda "naughty" message and he couldnt even say anything to me about it. I mean he thinks eats dreams drinks and breaths sexual thoughts so shouldnt that have been something he would want to hear?
I dunno what to do we are suppose to get married in july but how can i do that when things are getting almost as bad as the man i just got a divorce from. If i had wanted a marriage like that i wouldnt be divorced now would i. I dunno someone PLEASE shed a light on this and explain why he is like he is. I mean if he didnt want to get married then why the hell ask me and why stick around leaving me to believe he wants something he doesnt. And i know it just could be that he is like that. Maybe he wasnt brought up to be loving like i was brought up. When i was growing up my parents also showed that they loved each other. Why cant i have that too. I just want to be loved by him like he said he loves me. OK so this sounds selfish and im not saying im perfect but atleast i show him i love him. I do his laundry i cook for him when he has time off work. I cater to his every need. Hell WHEN we take a bath together i even wash him dear Lord how much more could one man want. I refuse to ask him for anything because there are just somethings that should be common sense ya know like a few minutes of alone time just the two of us. Or showing that he cares in the least would be a start. well i guess i better shut up cause i doubt anyone will take time to read this. Anyways till next time......
