well lets see my family is like poor now.....we have no money for cigs...barely ne money for food...we can barely pay the bills. my dad works 2 jobs and they keep cutting his pay and cuttin his hours....me myself has been trying to find a job but havin no such luck....i cant use my moms van nemore becuz of gas prices which i think the prices are rediculous. my mom hasnt had a job in 5 years almost 6..my sister cant really look for one she has a kid to take care of...jj hasnt tried i dont think.
i got dumped again...and the reason he gave me was stupid in my opinion but i wont get into it.
i barely get to see my friends nemore...the only person i really see is chris. these are one of the times i wish i still lived in st.cloud. one of my friends keeps ditching me cuz other ppl come along and she decides to hang with them when she made plans with me first...so im kinda getting sick and tired of it and im about ready to tell her off....
my bday is in less than 3 months and i want to have a party but i highly doubt ill have it cuz well i have no money...im prolly gonna have a shitty 19th bday
my mom is still making me her slave...having me take care of her kids and clean while she sits on the computer...i was gonna move out this summer and move in with sean but that looks like it wont happen....
i wish i could have a better life than what i have now but this is the card i was dealt and im stuck with it....ive tried to change my life but it never seems to work...i need help i cant do this on my own and the one person who was there to help me is gone now becuz i made one small mistake.
my life is so shitty right now...ik some of u will think or say that im not the only one and ik that...ik that their are ppl out there with lives that suck just as bad or even worse
theres this girl that i dont like nemore...when i first talked to her i thought she was cool but then i found out that she was going to try to steal sean from me and yea that pissed me off..well she can have him now he left me and i dont think hes coming back
in the past few months ive realized that im lazy,im a bitch, im a horrible g/f...i can never seem to make ppl happy...i seem to always piss them off and i dont try to it happens....i think i have bi-polar but my mom wont take me to get tested. so its like wtf ur a bitch....i really think i need to be put on some sort of pills...
my life is just fallin apart and atm i cant seem to do nething about it...dont get me wrong ive tried to but yea i always seem to fail in the end..there was always one person there for me but me being the retard that i am never went to him for help and i regret it..i should have listened to him and asked for help but its to late now....
ppl tell me that my life isnt that bad well until u walk in my shoes dont tell me my life isnt that bad. u have no clue what im going through atm and if u do can u help me out here im running out of ideas. and great i have one cig left and i cant get another pack til like thursday or friday. most likely friday cuz thats when my dad gets paid his very little money
yea i have no money to get me ne new shoes or clothes. i only have like 4 pairs of pants that i can wear and 2 shorts and one skirt....i have enough shirts and shit like that...i only have to bras. and i have plenty of underwear.
have the time in this house i cant eat cuz theres nothing to eat...so most of the time i have to rely on my friends to feed me cuz my famiyl cant really afford food. and i hate having to ask my friends to buy me stuff....when my moms goes shopping she usually buys cookies,milk,chips,cereal and some meats. she cant really buy nething else cuz we have no money
i need out of here...i need to go to a place where i can actually eat. have a nice life and not have to be my moms slave. my mom pisses me off so much that i dont even think i even actually love her nemore...i love my dad and my lil sisters to death but the rest of my family i dont know....
in the past month or so ive lost like over 5 pounds cuz i havent really been able to eat nething. all i had to eat yesterday was like 3 slices of pizza that chris bought. only cuz i had to share with him,his sister and his mom. and today all i had was a bowl of cereal.
well im on my last cig...which sucks ass.
u know if i had a better life to live..i would prolly be a better person i wouldnt be who i am now
cuz right now i dont like myself.
its times like this that i wish i wasnt alive.
so i wouldnt have to go through all this
ive tried hard to not to cut myself or over dose on pills
but i dont know how much longer i can hold on
i want my life to be better
i cant use my cell nemore cuz i have no minutes on it cuz well theres no money to get the minutes and its been over a month
well thats all i have for now
i would like to thank all the ppl who were there for me and that kinda helped me out...i appreciate it
