Franki's blog: "food for thought"

I was in Muncie this past weekend. I had massage appointments scheduled and was hoping to get to attend a holiday function with friends later that evening. I do believe someone mentioned something about impact play and damn if that didn't sound good!!! Now that I only provide two days of availability a month for massage my schedule is usually tight. This day was going to be no exception it seemed and then it looked as if I might get away early enough to go. I was going to surprise everyone at the last minute by showing up. As I packed up my gear and readied myself I checked my messages received during my therapy sessions and had one from a dear friend wanting some reflexology and balance work. Now, I have always tried to remember that in massage I provide a service; I am not a servant. It took some great debating on my part but her case and cause was different than someone just wanting a swedish. Her needs were greater than my own needs; my needs for the company of like minds, my need for masochistic release, my needs to perhaps extract some sadistic pleasure as well. She was diagnosed with third stage lung cancer five weeks ago. Two weeks ago they removed one lung and several nodes. She had not been out since the surgery and was coming to me for comfort; for release. It only took me a couple of moments to realize that her needs were greater than my own. I had her meet me at the office and grabbed a bite to eat while I waited on her. I really should have known that I would work on her. When packing my oils I had one particular blend that refused to be left behind. It is labeled 'higher mind' and it is used for emotional needs. I had no plans to do that type of work but it would not be ignored, so I packed it. I anointed her feet and worked while she talked. I found many areas that were sensitive but not like I expected. She confessed that she almost called me back to cancel with me as she was wanting to hide at home but made herself come out anyways. I completed the first part of our therapy ashamed that I even questioned seeing her. I assisted her to her feet and began the balance and energy work while she described what all they did during the surgery. Her pale, frail body trembling as she stilled herself. The incision on her back was a long slice that went around and under her scapula leaving nerve damage. To get to her lung it required them to break a rib leaving her with muscle spasms and the feeling of constriction in her shoulder, chest and arm. I did some balance work but quickly it occurred to me that energy work was needed. As I began the blocking process and began draining it off her shoulder my hand began to curl and cramp closing up on itself; my arm drawing in. Pulling the energy down and away from her I would shake it off allowing my hand to recover to do this process over and over until my hand no longer curled. I then moved to her ribs over her breast and did the same. When I was no longer responding to the pull of energy anymore I grounded her and sent her off with blessings and my bottle of demanding oil! In the short time between work and self maintenance I began to have chest pains and cramping that had been transferred to me. It was easily taken care of but for a brief moment, I felt how she felt. By this time it was too late to visit friends and enjoy the comforts of conversation and s/m sensations. I had an early day Sunday and could not change my hours so I reminded myself that I had taken time off in December and was committed to seeing friends then.

The following day my friend called me to thank me over and over for the relief she felt and for the loss of constriction and pain in her arm and chest.

I guess in truth, i am a servant...serving a greater need than my own.