As a bike rider all that ever mattered were times and miles
Faster and faster, the only place of sanity
Nothing but darkness lacking of laughter and smiles
Pushing physical limits was the only way to set a mind free
2006 was the biggest year
Highest miles fastest pace
Yet in August something was happening increasing the fear
The speed and endurance was slipping away into outerspace
Body hurting left and right nothing in sight
Anger and frustration, but thinking life again was guaranteed
Everything I was training for was lost, nothing was going right
A part of me nonetheless was freed
Doctor visits and blood work
Yet no results to find whats wrong
Calmly understanding this might be the end, while the body goes basurk
Life only continues for the strong
Diet had to change and things had to rearrange
Even the very person I was once was
Energy to be mean and angry was leaving, it felt strange
Undertanding the good that a undiagnosed condition does
This person I was at work was a major jerk
Was the fastest there with an ego that cannot compare
Even the speed and edurance there left as well, getting to the point I can barely work
Was it right was it fair?, in the end I began to care
Pounds slipping away as the months went on increasing decay
Something was also being created, beginning to see the light
Thanking god for everything, even when so much has went away
Love is stronger, caring much more about things and people day and night
Had to change the view of life, and how things are ment to be
It's been over 2 years and the conditon lives on
My emotional state is better and happiness has found me
I'm better now than I was then, eventhough so much has came and gone
12+ months of loss of weight
Gaining weight and for the first time their are no arguments or words to say
Family members have realized and have lessened this once heavy gate
No longer looking pale and weak, walking better every day
The future is still scary in a way
Never was much of a person to think to much ahead
At least im no longer alone, still trying to take things day by day
Pain still lingers in my body and head, but feeling loved when I close my eyes and go to bed
The stories that I have written begin to improve
Slowly as health has began to deminish then recover
Thinking more clearly and starting to get into a artistic groove
A selfish cloud of destruction that no longer has to hover
