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Judy's blog: "Funnies..."

created on 11/04/2006  |  http://fubar.com/funnies/b21343

COMET....."THE TOUGHEST REINDEER"...
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He's been spacey ever since the accident that was responsible for his "sleigh name" Comet. It was at the end of the run on the very first Christmas sleigh delivery. At that time, Comet was leading the team through a dark and foggy night.
He suddenly thought he spied the big Lighthouse light on the tip of the North Pole, the one they still use to guide the sleigh team home. Unfortunately that was in the days before radar and meteorological forecasts.
Yep, it was a real comet speeding through the edge of Earth's atmosphere, and a disaster was narrowly avoided after Comet head butted it out of orbit and saved the team. He became a hero, but he's still seeing stars, even in the daylight!

CUPID...."THE REINDEER ROMANTIC"...
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You would think that being one of the reindeer that pulls the sleigh for Santa Claus would keep a reindeer very very busy. And it does. But good ol' Cupid still finds time to play the great "Reindeer Romantic."
He loves to create reindeer crushes and romances for reindeer all over the world, not just the team at the North Pole. He has personally been matchmaker to 1,043 reindeer couples in the last year. But the romance he is most interested in is his own. And it is quite a romantic tale.
One day, a long long time ago, Cupid was flying along solo, just loosening up and practicing some roof landings about a week or so before Christmas. Suddenly he glimpsed a herd of reindeer trainees on a training flight. He could tell, because reindeer-in-training wear super bright yellow vests and have flashing lights on their antlers. (It's kind of the same idea that driving schools use on their cars.)
The herd of reindeer trainees was dashing through the snow off the eastern border of Lapland when, WHOOOOOSH!... it hit a huge updraft that sent the team out of control and upside down, heading right for the side of dreaded Ouch Mountain!
Cupid made a speed dive and grabbed the reins of the lead reindeer, gently guiding the team back under control. When Cupid had safely landed the team, a young girl reindeer named Vixen rushed over to him. Cupid was the bravest reindeer she had ever met and she fell head over hooves for him.
They have been hitched for over 200 years now!

VIXEN...."THE MOST GRACEFUL REINDEER"...
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Remember that pretty girl reindeer who was leading the team of reindeer trainees when it was rescued by Cupid? That was Vixen. She was the top reindeer in her training class. She was renowned for her beauty and for her graceful flying that has become even more graceful through the years of practice. Her triple loop with a single hoof landing has never been equaled.
Anyway, after the heroic rescue, Vixen fell head over hooves for Cupid, joined the Sleigh Team, and got hitched to Cupid. She's still flying, still pretty, and she still thinks Cupid is the bravest reindeer she has ever met. Even after hundreds of years together, she and Cupid still hold hooves. And Cupid still blushes when Vixen gives him the eye.
Awww, isn't that sweet?!

DANCER..."THE MOST TALENTED REINDEER"...
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Probably very few people notice, but Prancer and Dancer are actually twins. No, not identical, although there is a strong family resemblance.
With a little stage makeup and costuming, they can and did get away with being identical twins back when they used to do their act. Of course, this was hundreds of years ago when they toured as hoofers with Bob Hope's Holiday USO troupe, bringing seasonal entertainment to the front lines from Angincourt to the Battle of Hastings.
Unfortunately, during one Christmas show a hunter thought it was deer season and opened fire at the stage, bringing to a close any future with the touring show. Out of work, out of show biz, and out of luck, Prancer and Dancer were returning to their native homeland when they saw a recruitment sign announcing that the North Pole Village was looking for anyone with talents that could be used at Christmas.

PRANCER..."THE MOST TALENTED REINDEER"...
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Probably very few people notice, but Prancer and Dancer are actually twins. No, not identical, although there is a strong family resemblance.
With a little stage makeup and costuming, they can and did get away with being identical twins back when they used to do their act. Of course, this was hundreds of years ago when they toured as hoofers with Bob Hope's Holiday USO troupe, bringing seasonal entertainment to the front lines from Angincourt to the Battle of Hastings.
Unfortunately, during one Christmas show a hunter thought it was deer season and opened fire at the stage, bringing to a close any future with the touring show.
Out of work, out of show biz, and out of luck, Prancer and Dancer were returning to their native homeland when they saw a recruitment sign announcing that the North Pole Village was looking for anyone with talents that could be used at Christmas...what can I say, they're twins!

BLITZEN...."THE ELECTRIC REINDEER"...
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This thunderous reindeer got his name because he's been struck by lightning so much that he is now actually electrically charged! It all started in his early childhood when he grew up on the highest peaks of the Swiss Alps. The peaks are so close to the sky that every time a storm cloud passed by it would ZAP-POW! Blitzen right on his antlers. Blitzen eventually was able to get radio and television stations on his antlers because of all the electricity. On top of that he started to point north all the time, just like a compass!
One day, Blitzen decided to follow his magnetic attraction and go the North Pole. When he got there, Santa immediately saw the potential in Blitzen and made him a part of his reindeer team.
Now Blitzen serves as Santa's compass, radio back to the North Pole, and lightning rod in case they have to fly through storm clouds!

DASHER...."THE REINDEER DOE-BOY"...
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A dapper reindeer from Los Angeles who gave up his illustrious film career to help pull Santa's sleigh. But don't let that fool you into believing that Dasher's life is motivated by self-sacrifice, on the contrary!
Pulling Santa's sleigh has made Dasher even more famous! He spends most of the "off season" either tanning his hide on the beach or making films with Venison Studios - a movie company that he owns and operates all by himself.
The other reindeer get upset with Dasher because he never shows up to sleigh riding practice. In fact, Dasher is notorious for only showing up at the North Pole by private jet a few hours before Santa's take off!
Dasher is the best flying reindeer in the world, and that's why Santa made him Captain of the reindeer team. If he wasn't the best, Santa would have given him the boot (or hoof) a long time ago.

DONDER..."THE MOST DISCIPLINED REINDEER"...
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Donder was the first girl reindeer to graduate from the prestigious Roe Military Academy, and as far as she's concerned, boot camp never ended.
In fact, she has the other reindeer on Santa's team practicing constantly year round so they stay in shape for "The Big Night".
The only reindeer that doesn't play in her reindeer games is Dasher (because he's always on vacation!), and quite a rivalry has developed between the two.
Donder believes, and rightly so, that she should be Santa's Reindeer Captain and not Dasher! This rivalry however is one of good spirits between two professionals and no accidents or anything bad has come of it yet.
The other reindeer respect and appreciate Donder's workout routines and maneuver exercises even though their little legs and hooves get quite sore from them.

AND Rudolph..???????????.....who knows....he was try'n to play those reindeer games & well, you know how the story goes, lol....
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