1303103's blog: "sanity is over rated"

-Eyes of the Devil by Seether- It irks me when i get burned And i realize, i don't get hurt And always, it seems I've lost my way When i feel you, it's not enough And i need you to shun my touch I notice the season's ripe for change I'm weak I'm weak So with every new lesson learned I could keep you before it turns And the knowledge that things won't be the same Now i realize that you have won And there's nothing to be said or done And i notice the wind won't blow my way So run with the eyes of the devil And keep them in your dreams If you succumb to the lies of the rebel You'll cleanse yourself of me It kills me to watch this fade And i realize it's all charade And every mistake i make is the same I beseech you to let me drown Will it please you to let me down And no one can save me from the pain So run with the eyes of the devil And keep them in your dreams If you succumb to the lies of the rebel You'll cleanse yourself of me [x3] Jesus, save me! (I'm weak) [x5] Jesus, save me from me -Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen- Theres no time for us Theres no place for us What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away From us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever....? Theres no chance for us Its all decided for us This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever? Who dares to love forever? When love must die But touch my tears with your lips Touch my world with your fingertips And we can have forever And we can love forever Forever is our today Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today Who waits forever anyway? P.S.~ Yeah, I un-fanned everyone. Nothing personal just.. it looked weird with only 3 haha

The summary for this blog is: I WIN!!!! I am FINALLY absolutely, positively over this Michael shit! I'm done, just 1000000000% DONE! I don't even care. I just.. don't care. I'm on the road to recovery, yet again, and just... I'm better. My life is finally back on track. I feel great, and just... everything is good. I'm finally ready to move on and I have random respect for myself now so... I don't know what that means yet but shit is gonna change. so.. YAY ME *pats self on back* So yeah... woo-hoo!I start going to TNCC (Thomas Nelson Community College for those who don't know) in August, hopefully if I get Finacial Aid. And just... things are finally going good. And I am fine again, ~Lisa P.S.~ I just read this blog and then the last one... I SWEAR I'M NOT BI-POLAR lol

If you want to know what I lied about, check my blog entry "Cleansing and Purging" I lied about the sobriety thing. I've fallen back on old habits. In fact, a friend of mine sorta described what i'm doing... so here's what he said, that was extremely insightful... "You give and you give… you do all and give all to the best of your abilities and knowledge and yet its not enough… and so all you do is Fuck and Hope that it is enough…" It's sad but true. Anyways, I apparently cannot stop being bitter. really all i want is for one guy to prove to me that they're not all the same. Anyways... this has been a bad day. And i've only been up for two hours. ugh *head desks* I cannot run away, fading slowly, ~Lisa

You told me you’d always be there That I could run to you anytime, anywhere Now you’re asking me not to hate you Cause I’m too much for you to bear Nobody’s perfect I think you’re the best example of that Forgive me I never knew What a burden you must hold Your back is breaking From the weight of the world Cutting all the ties That bound you to humanity No longer care about anyone but yourself Letting me go to destroy myself Never meant to be a burden on you Forgive me I almost forgot Your back is breaking From the weight of the world Now I know Exactly where I stand Set all your priorities And I’m one rung lower on the ladder You’re asking me not to hate you Cause I’m too much for you to bear I don’t need you’re forgiveness You won’t let anyone forget Your back is breaking From the weight of the world -------------------------------------------- A/N~ first off steal it and you will pay. second this is about a song i heard that hit me the wrong way. it was about a guy leaving a girl cause she's got too many problems. which i've been through before. and in case you dont' know it's called Atlas because in Greek mythology Atlas was the guy who held the world on his shoulders. Enough about that. now time for some shameless self promotion. if you like this visit my deviantart site..... http://www.ultimaterockgoddess.deviantart.com I post everything there. From photos to songs to stories to banners and collages i make. so yeah go there and appriceate my art lol Tell me not to worry, ~Lisa

Unstable Lyrics © 2006 by CHAOTICA www.chaoticamusic.com Gotta run Gotta run 'Til I fall, Gotta keep on Feeding the crave. Gotta build Gotta build Up my wall, Gonna keep on Digging my grave. Gotta fight Gotta fight 'Til I bleed, Gotta keep my head Screwed on tight. Gotta stay Gotta stay In the lead, Gotta make sure I win this fight. It's okay if I'm A bit unstable, I've been doing Just fine on my own. I don't care if I am In denial, It's a mild syndrome. Gotta deal Gotta deal With the pain, Gotta put up With all the lies. Gotta break Gotta break Off the chain, Gotta silence All of the cries. Gonna lose Gonna lose My own head, Gonna finally Run out of luck. Gonna fall Gonna fall 'Til I'm dead - And frankly, I don't give a... The more I try, The less I'm free. The more I fail, The more I hate me.

Everything is hazy Nothing seems right Sedated and cold You'll believe what they tell you Focus on the next life To forget the present Sit tight and bide your time So tired that you'll never think of a revolution Come on Wake up Don't be another sheep in the flock Come on Wake up Be one in a million not a milllion and one Come on Wake up See what's in front of your eyes Come on Wake up Are you proud of what you've done? Turned your leader into a god Total control over your mind Rewrote your history Made you forget Worse off than you were at the start Focus on the next life To forget the present Sit tight and bide your time So tired you'll never think of a revolution Come on Wake up Don't be another sheep in the flock Come on Wake up Be one in a million not a milllion and one Come on Wake up See what's in front of your eyes Come on Wake up Get your nose out of that holy book Open your eyes Fight for freedom Come on Wake up (whispered) Religon is the opiate of the masses Come on Wake up ----------------------------------------------- A/N- Ok well. If you didn't guess this is sort of about communism, it was sparked by our discussion in English about Animal Farm and Karl Marx saying "Religon is the opiate of the masses" So yeah... well there ya go

2008, a beginning of a new year. I've quit drinking and all of my other vices. It's hard as shit but, I've got to do it. I'm starting this year with a clean slate. I've forgiven all of those that have hurt me in the past, but not forgotten the lessons it's taught. I'm tired of all the high school drama shit, especially with people that aren't even in high school anymore. I'm tired of being that immature brat. I've always been more mature for my age but in some ways... I'm a normal teenager. So I've quit that shit. I've quit being that juvenile and trying to quit being so vindictive. It's just time to grow the fuck up and get on with my life. I know I'll have little slips, cause recovery is a life long journey, not a destination. I'm trying this year with a whole new attitude, going with the flow. I've quit trying to fight every little thing just for the sake of arguing. So anyone that I've been an immature brat to, I apologize and it'll never happen again. Anyone that I've broken a promise to, I'm working on keeping my word better (I normally do so no problem with that). And anyone that's hurt me, I forgive you. If I start being a bitch or going back to my old ways, call me out on it. I'm tired of being able to get away with that shit. I mean just... I'm tired of people just accepting me as a screw up. I guess the point of this is that I'm no longer the girl I was. I'm trying this whole "bettering myself" thing. And just to be patient with me and don't give up on me. I’m forced to let go, ~Lisa

Sixx:A.M. Accidents Can Happen Don't give up, it takes a while I have seen this look before And it's alright You're not alone If you don't love this anymore I hear that you've slipped again I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend And you know that accidents can happen And it's okay, We all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life It's only one day You haven't thrown everything away. Take some time and learn to breathe And remember what it means To feel alive And to believe Something more than what you see I know there's a price for this But some things in life you must resist And you know that accidents can happen And it's okay, We all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life It's only one day You haven't thrown everything away. I hear that you've slipped again I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend And you know that accidents can happen And it's okay, We all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life It's only one day You haven't thrown everything away. You know that accidents can happen And it's okay, We all fall off the wagon sometimes It's not your whole life It's only one day You haven't thrown everything away. So don't give up It takes a while. ------------------------------------------------- God I only wish someone cared that much. I love Sixx:A.M. but how dare they make me cry lol. I was driving home from dropping off my brother and stopping by a friend's house really quick to give her something she left at my house and, I still think the goddess was trying to send me a message, so at least i know she cares, but anyway i was driving home thinking about how good a drink would be and that I should drink w/e I could find and then BAM! F.M. 99 (a local radio station) decides to play that song. WHAT THE HELL! So I started bawling my eyes out. What the fuck man? Anyways. I think I'll go now. toodles

Within Temptation - What Have You Done What have you done now? I know I better stop trying You know that there's no denying I won't show mercy on you now I know I should stop beleiving I know that there's no retreating It's over now What have you done? What have you done now? I've been waiting for someone like you But now you are slipping away (what have you done now?) Why? Why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us Between me and you What have you done? Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tryed to cause you have Turned into my worst enemy? You carry hate that I feel It's over now What have you done? What have you done now? I've been waiting for someone like you But now you are slipping away (what have you done now?) Why? why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us Between me and you What have you done? I've been fool Won't let it go We will be free when it ends I've been waiting for someone like you But now you are slipping away (what have you done now?) Why? why does fate make us suffer? There's a curse between us Between me and you

Frozen by Within Temptation I can’t feel my senses I just feel the cold All colors seem to fade away I can’t reach my soul I would stop running, If knew there was a chance It tears me apart to sacrifice it all but I’m forced to let go Tell me I’m frozen but what can I do? Can’t tell the reasons I did it for you When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you You say that I’m frozen but what can I do? I can feel your sorrow You won’t forgive me, but I know you’ll be all right It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go Tell me I’m frozen but what can I do? Can’t tell the reasons I did it for you When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you You say that I’m frozen but what can I do? Everything will slip way Shattered peaces will remain When memories fade into emptiness Only time will tell its tale If it all has been in vain I can’t feel my senses I just feel the cold Frozen... But what can I do ? Frozen... Tell me I’m frozen but what can I do? Can’t tell the reasons I did it for you When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you You say that I’m frozen, frozen...