WHAT MEN HAVE TO SAY, AND WHAT DAZZY HAS TO SAY BACK...lol
1)
MEN: First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
DAZZY: First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. Yes, sometimes we get in the mood and do it on our own free will. BEGGING is soooo not a turn on. And the more you ask, the more we refuse. You want someone younger, prettier, and dirtier, you can GO FUCK YOURSELF. IF YOU LOVE ME, THERE IS NO ONE YOUNGER OR PRETTIER. SO THERE.
2)
MEN: Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
DAZZY: From a woman's perspective, NO it's not. I'm bisexual and I'll tell you straight up, i'd rather lick that dead fish then put that other nasty sweaty mothafucker in my mouth to begin with, let alone SWALLOW what comes out of it.
3)
MEN: You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
DAZZY: Um, yeah...The definition of a queef is when you stick your dick in our pussy and there is air pushed in...SOOOO different from a fart. (Shows how stupid men are...)
4)
MEN: I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
DAZZY: Let's review...If you grab my ears, pull my hair, OR push down on my head, I'll stop and you'll have to do it yourself. Ha! WE are in complete control in this situation. And there will be NO HUMPING my head.
5)
MEN: When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
DAZZY: Yeah, we know. This is what ICE CREAM and CHOCOLATE are for. Dick? Who lied to you?
6)
MEN: Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. Trust me.
DAZZY: Yet another reason for the soda and ice cream, and bottled water and stuff we drink. We get plenty of fluids, believe me, you're NUT is the last thing we want quenching our thirst.
7)
MEN: You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
DAZZY: Let's not go here. From personal experience, I've had men BEG me to nut all over there face and in their mouth. I'VE begged girls to nut in my mouth. You're a dumbass. (Seriously, did a gay man write this?)
8)
MEN: At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
DAZZY: hahaha NOW I KNOW YOU'RE A FUCKIN IDIOT. We plan our cycles honey...that's why we carry tampons and pads with us because WE KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
9)
MEN: Play with the balls.
DAZZY: You mean those tiny hairy things under your cock? NO THANK YOU.
10)
MEN: No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
DAZZY: Ok...Coming from MY experience, contact this person on CT: GotPitbull@cherrytap.com and ask him if that's true. :)
11)
MEN: Caress the ass, too. We like that!
DAZZY: When you start lickin mine, I'll start caressing yours.
12)
MEN: Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep."
DAZZY: I actually agree with this for one reason...I LOVE MORNING SEX! Great thing to wake up to. Makes your day better. But I'll never get old, and I'm already fat, so STFU.
13)
MEN: If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
DAZZY: I don't have to worry about it anyways. It's a dick, when you feel it coming ladies, POINT IT AWAY FROM YOUR FUCKING FACE. GOOD GOD. LOL WOMEN ARE SMARTER THAN THAT. WE HAVE BETTER AIM TOO.
