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What are you waiting for?
I focus on what was
I hear the echos within
The hatred
The sadness
You are so fucking far away sometimes
I say things that you never hear
Why?
You are hooked into the fucking matrix
I'm tired of it
When I say something there is always some sort of "reason" why I'm wrong
Or why it's stupid, or lame...
I can't think of a positive thing that has come out of your mouth
Other than the belittling tone of your stupid voice
put that in your pipe and smoke it bitch
I can't be myself around you
I don't know if I ever could be myself around you
When I speak it's as if I'm dead inside
I have no passion left
I have nothing left
The only thing I ever had was my passion
The only thing any of us ever has is life
I won't waste any more of my time
When you finally can accept me
I just hope it's not past the "end"
I loved you
I loved all of you, even the dark secret parts
The parts that hurt me over and over
The parts that I said nothing about
The parts that make me want to die
I don't want to relive these memories in my head
I don't want to remember
I want to erase you
I still love you and I've never understood
you don't love me the way I love you
Perhaps it's all just fear
Fear of being alone and having no one to share my life with
I'm already alone, already dead inside
so why bother?
so closed-minded
you can't see
do you even hear?
angels deserve to die
So in january it will be my 1 yr anniversary here on fubar. Since then I've managed to make more enemies then friends so it seems. There are some people that I miss, sadly, I don't think they would want to talk to me even if I tried. I find it disturbing that people think so poorly of me, as though I were out to screw over others. I'm horrible w/ words, so its best I don't speak much, or so I've learned.
On that note I'm going to smoke and drink coffee..LOTS of coffee
i feel the darkness consume me
there is a tear in my soul
it hangs on
after waves of desperation
i feel nothing
lacking courage
destiny is a lie
nothing remains
of this weakened soul
left with out a light
nothing remains
but the cries
no contact
just words
in the distance
i can't see you
reaching out
but there is emptiness
i wait
emotionless
caged
visions of another time
arrived here
which path did you send me on
My very being is slowly fading
Every moment I spend awake
I become more of nothing
I sought a dream
Why?
Because you made me believe
Now I stand
Vacant
With nothing left
Shattered dreams
Broken hopes
You coward
She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalities
So fragile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples and my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever
Oh (She's the only one that makes me sad)
She is everything and more
The solemn hypnotic
My Dahlia bathed in possession
She is home to me
I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse
But the stress is astounding
It's now or never she's coming home
Forever
Oh (She's the only one that makes me sad)
Hard to say what caught my attention
Fixed and crazy, Aphid attraction
Carve my name in my face, to recognize
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
(Yeah!)
(oh-oh)
I'm a slave, and I am a master
No restraints and, unchecked collectors
I exist through my need, to self oblige
She is something in me, that I despise
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!
SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!
She isn't real (She isn't real)
I can't make her real (can't make her real)
She isn't real (She isn't real)
I can't make her real (can't make her real)
