Bloodchild's blog: "RIDERS ON THE STORM"

I focus on what was

I hear the echos within

The hatred 

The sadness

You are so fucking far away sometimes

I say things that you never hear

Why? 

You are hooked into the fucking matrix 

I'm tired of it 

When I say something there is always some sort of "reason" why I'm wrong

Or why it's stupid, or lame...

I can't think of a positive thing that has come out of your mouth 

Other than the belittling tone of your stupid voice

put that in your pipe and smoke it bitch

I can't be myself around you 

I don't know if I ever could be myself around you

When I speak it's as if I'm dead inside

I have no passion left

I have nothing left

The only thing I ever had was my passion

The only thing any of us ever has is life

I won't waste any more of my time 

When you finally can accept me 

I just hope it's not past the "end"

I loved you

I loved all of you, even the dark secret parts

The parts that hurt me over and over

The parts that I said nothing about

The parts that make me want to die

I don't want to relive these memories in my head

I don't want to remember 

I want to erase you

I still love you and I've never understood 

you don't love me the way I love you

Perhaps it's all just fear

Fear of being alone and having no one to share my life with

I'm already alone, already dead inside

so why bother? 

so closed-minded 

you can't see 

do you even hear? 

angels deserve to die