Sketchy At Best's blog: "Reviews"

When describing this movie, they described it as a cross between The Matrix and The Fast and the Furious. And I must say, that was a pretty good description. James McAvoy is Wesley Gibson, an office drone who suffers from anxiety attacks, and an overbearing bitch of a boss. His best friend is boning his girlfriend, and she is an insufferable bitch also. He's basically deep in a rut, and there looks to be no escape. Til he goes to the drugstore, to fill his prescription. There, he meets Fox, played by Angeline Jolie. She saves him in a gun battle against Cross, and its pretty much nonstop action from there. He's introduced into an ancient assassins guild, under the cover of being Weavers, and he's needed to bring in a rogue assassin. There's alot of plot twists and turns, and I don't want to spoil anything. So I'll just move onto what I feel are the plus and minuses. James McAvoy wasn't bad. Apparantly he's a pretty big TV star, no clue who he was. But he was pretty solid playing both the stressed out accounts manager, to the fledgling assassin, to eventual confident assassin. Angeline Jolie was good. Personally, I thought she looked too skinny, but that's just me. You do get to see her ass in it, so thats always a plus. I like the fact she was all tatted up, and they added some to her already large collection of tatts. Other roles of note, Dato Bakhtadze had a small, but good role as the Butcher. Thomas Kretschmann was great as Cross, and Terrence Stamp was his usual stellar self as Pekwarsky. The rest were quite average, including Morgan Freeman. Usually he's lights out for me, but he was quite average in this. The stunts were awesome. The chase scenes, both on foot, and in cars, were out of this world. The train scene was banannas. There were a few cool fight scenes, and the gun work was out of this world. High marks for the effects. The script was great in parts, and average in some, with one blah spot. With all the plot twists though, they did a pretty good job holding it all together. I think that it takes a real talent to keep a storyline and its substories together, and they did a pretty good job here. There were a few leaps of faith, but at least they made an effort to try to explain them somewhat. The pacing was good. Fast paced, but not too fast paced. There wasn't a whole lot of filler, which was a nice change. I would have liked to have seen about 15 more minutes of movie to be honest. If they'd have done it right, it would have filled in some things better, and not dragged it out. It was a respectable 110 minutes, and you didn't really feel you were there that long. I thouroughly enjoyed the movie. I'm not a huge Angeline Jolie fan, but I enjoyed it all the same. It was a good role for her, one that she was believeable in. And the ending was just out of site. I didn't see it coming, and the people I went with had the same reaction I did, which was a jaw dropper. I give this movie 9 out of 10 bullets.

Strange Wilderness is the tale of a boy who has to fill the shoes of his father. His father was the host of Strange Wilderness, filmed on a shoestring budget, but he was always ready for what the animals offered. Steve Zahn plays his son, Peter, and though he's trying, his effort is less than stellar. Notes for the show are written on bar napkins. The information is shoddy at best. Most of the footage is stock footage from the 70's. His show is quickly losing its ratings. And to top it off, a new show is coming in to take his place. So they have two weeks to save the show, and his dad's old partner comes up with the solution, for $1000. He has photos, and a map, so that they can find the legendary bigfoot. What follows is their madcap adventures in this quest, from the beginning RV trip, to their trek thru the jungle to find him. There were some moments where this movie was laugh out loud funny. Made with basically the same crew as Grandma's Boy, they added Justin Long and Steve Zahn. So how could it not be funny? Steve Zahn for one. He had his moments, but they were few and far between. I didn't care for him in the least. Next was Jonah Hill, of Superbad fame. He plays the Personal Assistant to Steve Zahn. He was horrible. It was like he was doing a horrible impersonation of Adam Sandler. When he was on the screen, the laughs dried up...immediately. Justin Long played the stoner Junior. He was average at best. He tried to channel Tommy Chong, and instead got Stephen Wright in Half Baked. He wandered his way through the whole movie, added little, but had a few funny moments. The highpoints was the script. I like the concept. I thought alot of the jokes were funny. It was paced well. Time wise, it was a good length. The costuming was good, cinematography wasn't bad, and in theory, the casting was top notch for a comedy. The chemistry of the actors was bad though. I thought that Steve Zahn was trying, but the rest of the crew didn't really believe in him. There were some good performances, and it had Ernest Borgnine, who was great. Peter Dante played his usual character, and was good at it. Allen Covert was ok, nothing spectacular. Ashley Scott played the hot female, and she was good, but her role was pretty much pointless for most of the movie. If you've rented most the movies you wanted to see, then pick it up. It's not great, it's not horrible. To me, this was more along the lines of a National Lampoon movie than a Happy Gilmore porduction, with way less boobage, but some funny moments nonetheless. I'm gonna give this movie 6 out of 10. I can't put my finger on why it didn't do it for me, but it just didn't. I'm not saying don't watch it, but prepare to be underwhelmed.

I have to admit, I like Adam Sandler's films. I also have to admit that his last few were so so at best. So when we let the boy decide what movie to see, I was sure he'd pick The Hulk, but he went with Zohan, and I was going into it rather disappointed. I was all for The Hulk. I got Zohan. I'm happy it worked out that way. It was very funny, had a good pace to it, and it also had a common sense message to it. Adam Sandler plays Zohan, a one man counterterrorist expert. He is the best at it, and is also tired of all the fighting and violence. He wants to stop, and become a hairdresser for Mr Paul Mitchell. So he fakes his own death, and gives up his life of finding terrorists (who his country just ends up trading back), disco dancing, and nonstop women. He goes to New Your, and is laughed out of every hair salon he visits. He has no training, and his "bible" is a Paul Mitchell style book from the 70's. He ends up getting his foot into the door of a Palestinian run shop, run by the beautiful Emmanuelle Chriqui. She starts him out letting him just sweep the floor, and circumstances allow him to show his real talents. It was very entertaining, with a bunch of laugh out loud moments. Adam Sandler was really good. He strayed from his usual meek character, went back to his more bold character, but not as over the top as say a Happy Gilmore. He was quietly confident, and was good in the role. John Turtorro played The Phantom, a terrorist, and his sworn enemy. I generally like him in films, but I wasn't all that impressed with him. I don't think that the character was written all that well, and he didn't do much to make it better. Emmanuelle Chriqui played Dalia, his love interest...eventually. She did a nice job, and was stunningly gorgeous. Then there was the usual list of Happy Madison's gang. Rob Schneider played a cab driver slighted by Zohan in his previous lifestyle. I like him in a role where he isn't carrying a film, and he was solid in the movie. Nick Swardson was also in it, and I think that they wasted him. He wasn't that funny, and his character was blah. Kevin Nealon had a bit part, and sucked as always. I can't stand him, don't find him funny at all, but he still finds work. Charlotte Rae makes an appearance from Facts of Life fame, and it was good to see her, and she was funny. Dina Doran plays Nick Swardson's mom, she was in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and she was a home run. So funny, and she also shows her ass, which is great, because it was funnier than hell. I'm not saying that its an incredibly good movie. I'm not saying the story was perfect. And since I live in the sticks, I don't have a bunch of contact with the Arab community, so I'm sure I miss some of the stereotypes. But you'll laugh. If you don't like Adam Sandler movies, don't bother going. But I do, so I like it. I'll give it an 8 out of 10 snips. It was loose in a few spots, and that seemed like filler, but it made me laugh, and want to buy it when it comes out. And it has a nice message to it, but it doesn't beat you over the head with it. So if you're on the fence, I reccomend waiting to rent it.

Andy(Philip Seymour Hoffman)and Hank(Ethan Hawke) are two typical brothers. Andy has the image of a successful businessman, beautiful wife, money. And Hank is the brother that just falls short of measuring up. Hank has a ball breaking ex wife, is behind on child support, and has a little girl that the mom is slowly turning against him. And he's always broke. Andy has a beautiful wife (Marissa Tomei), a good job (real estate), and a drug problem. Put it together, and they need cash. So Andy decides they need to rob a jewelry store. Their parents store. They rob it, the insurance reimburses the parents, Andy and Hank get out of their financial straits, and all is good. So Andy gets Hank to help, who in turn gets a guy he knows to actually do it. But circumstances happen, and it all goes to hell. Philip Seymour Hoffman is incredible as Andy. He has the character dead on. He even has a gratuitous nude scene for the ladies, right off the bat. Lucky ladies. Ethan Hawke is great too. Hank is frantic, frazzled, and just over his head. And you really feel for the guy, because Ethan Hawke did such a great job. Marissa Tomei did her usual great acting job. She was really good as Andy's wife. But let me tell you, she's in a scene in just panties, and she looks incredible. She looked a little doughy in her last few roles, and her body was TIGHT. Wow. The idea behind the script was really good. And I had high hopes that this movie was going to be a home run. But the pace was slow, and they jumped forward and backward in the story, and I think it really slowed it down, and took away from it. I know it wasn't an action movie, but it really bogged down the movie. So much, that it became almost unwatchable. And that was sad, because I really wanted it to be good. But to me, the pace just destroyed it. I blame the editors. So I was gonna give the movie a 4, but the acting is too good, and Marissa Tomei's body is great, so the best i can do is a 5, and I feel dirty giving it that. but Marissa Tomei looks sooooooooooo hot.5 out of 10 diamonds.

When I first saw the previews for this movie, I didn't want to see it. Hayden Christenson was horrible in the new Star Wars. Samuel L Jackson is mostly annoying. It's not the usual type of movie I like. But a funny thing happened. The more I saw the preview, the more I wanted to see it. By the time I talked myself into it, it was out of the theatres. Problem avoided. Then they released it to dvd, and of course I rented it. David Rice has a talent. He's a Jumper. He can imagine a place, and his body jumps to that place. He discovered his talent after nearly drowning one winter. He has problems with his dad, so he escapes his house, and does exactly what I would do, robs banks. Samuel L Jackson plays Roland. Roland is in a religious group that kills Jumpers. They feel only God should have that power. Overlooking the fact that in reality, only God should judge a man. So after 7 years, David comes back, and looks up his old crush Milli, played by Rachel Bilson. A little bit about her, shes short, with an incredibly juicy booty. The good of the film is the action. It's quick paced, with enough clever fight scenes to keep my attention. There is also a nice twist at the end, and there is room for a sequel. I generally don't like sequels, but if done right, that wouldn't be a bad thing. Another highlight, was Rachel Bilson's ass. Great! I really dug her body type, because she actually looked like a girl you'd see on the street. The average was the acting. Hayden Christensen was great compared to the wood performance of Star Wars. Ms Bilson was ok. Nothing incredible. I did like Jamie Bell as Griffin. The bad. I really want Samuel L Jackson to get off the superhero movie role tour. He's not great, and he had the chance to make this a really good role. He'll come back in the sequel, hopefully he won't collect a check this time, and actually earn it. I liked it. It was a pretty good mvie. It's no Indiana Jones, but still not bad. I will give it 7.5 jumps out of 10.

Jason Statham, Jason Statham, Jason Statham...if I want to get laid, I bring home a Jason Statham movie, because apparantly he is the hottest man alive in my wife's mind. But even the fact that he was in it couldn't save this piece of crap. And the sad thing is, it didn't have to be this way. Jason Statham plays farmer, a simple man, trying to make a living ...farming. But there is intrigue afoot, and King Burt Reynolds is being challenged by his Nephew Matthew Lillard. So when Farmer sends his hot wife to market with their turnips, of course the bad guys attack. A special mention should be made for these characters who attack. They are led by Ray Liotta, in human form, but their costumes look like rejects from LOTR, or perhaps Gwar. In fact, I think Gwar should have designed their costumes, it would have been better. But they attack, and the real story begins. Hellboy Ron Perlman raised Farmer, so he joins in, and another long haired guy, and off they go. I wont bore you with details, but the story follows a pretty predictable path. So lets get down to the nuts and bolts of it. I liked Jason Statham's wife in it. She's hot. Now the bad parts. This is not a role for Jason Statham. Yes he's good looking. Yes he has martial arts moves. But he isn't the greatest actor, and its set in medievel times, and he just doesn't fit. In fact, the cast is filled with people you know, not exactly A list actors, but popular enough, and none of them fit. Remember, Medievel times, and Burt Reynolds is your king. Everyone has different accents. The only one who was good was Matthew Lillard, who plays a snivveling coward who is shifty, a role he has perfected. And his wife was hot. The rest...sucked. The costumes were passable. Tunics mostly, some robes, not exactly rocket science there. But the attacking hordes, their costumes weren't good. Like I said, they should have had Gwar design their costumes, would have been better. But the two main problems were the lighting. It was bright...everywhere. This movie had a darker feel to it, and it was incredibly bright. Which showed how crappy the costumes were. A little darker lighting, and you probably wouldn't have noticed. The second, the predictable script would have been better if they'd have made the movie longer. They fit two, possibly three movies into around 2 hours. So everything was rushed, squeezed in, and glossed over. But overall, it was a snoozer, and not even the gorgeous Jason Hotness, which is what he is called in our house, could save this snoozer. 3 out of 10, and thats only because of the Cirque de Soleil type tree elves, who were smoking hot.

This movie by the Coen brothers looked soooooooo good when the previews came out, I could not wait to see it. Unfortunately, in my Podunk area, movies like this rarely make the theatre, or don't last, so of course I missed my opportunity. So I rented it as soon as it came out. It delivered. Josh Brolin plays Llewelyn Moss, and retired welder who, when out hunting, discovers a drug deal gone bad out in the desert. There he discovers some vehicles, a bunch of dead drug dealers, a few guns he picks up, a truckfull of heroin, and a satchel full of money. The one thing about a satchel full of money, when it comes up missing, people come looking for it. And they send Anton Chigurh, played by Javier Bardem. Then the intrigue begins. Tommy Lee Jones plays sheriff Ed Tom Bell. He's just wonderful in the role as a Texas lawmen, bent on getting to the bottom of things, using his wit, but questioning why. Josh Brolin is great as Moss. Ex Vet, Texas hard, set in the 80's not back down type of guy. This is probably the first role I've liked him in, so kudo's to him. But the real star was Javier Bardem, as the hitman Anton Cigurh. He carries around the bolt used to kill cattle in a slaughterhouse. It is run by compressed air, and shoots a bolt out, thus knocking out a circular piece of the skull, forcing it into the brain, and it rattles around there, thus killing the animal. It also works on locks. But this guy is so creepy, he scared me, and I knew he was a work of fiction. He's incredible in the role, and really set the movie. His character is crazy good. The positives of the movie are the actors. They sold it, and drew you into them. You wanted to know more, and you wanted to see more, and they were so good they made you fill in their life story. The characters developed were awesome. They sucked you in. You couldn't wait to find out what happened to each one. You actually feel bad when bad things happen. The movie was set in 1980, and the outfits fit the era. Cowboy boots, ugly shirts, jeans...its how I pictured Texas then. The vehicles were also period true. The only thing I didn't care for was the ending. It was pretty open ended. I'd have liked to have seen it a little more tied up, but thats just me. It was a great flick. I was sitting on the edge of my seat, and not just because of my back. I give it 9 out of 10 kilo's on this. Definitely worth renting, I shall be buying!

This film is a documentary on one man's quest to have the top score on the old coin op classic Donkey Kong. Not on one machine, but in the world. Why would you want to watch something like this you ask? Because it is absolutely brilliant. I grew up playing Donkey Kong, I know the pain they go thru. I never got to their levels, but I wasn't bad. The game is hard, there is no "pattern". There is a randomness to it that gets most players in the end. But this is a quest of Steve Wiebe. He was laid off, and decided that he was going to be the best, so bought a coin op machine for his house. He also had to help raise his kids, and do family things, and be an everyday type of guy. And he accomplishes it. He breaks the mark of 975000, sends in the video to the governing body, and waits for his accolades. Billy Mitchell is the old owner of the record, and he also is in charge of confirming that the boards haven't been tampered with. Amazingly, his friends find that they might have been, so they disallowed the record. You would be amazed at how organized the old coin op community still is. This is a big deal to a whole bunch of people. And what a group it is. The cast of characters, all real people, made you sit and wait for them to break out the 72 sided die, and a D and D session break out. But they're "adults", and there is enough back biting, finger pointing, and childish behavior to fill a fourth grade class. Billy Mitchell is the biggest baby of all. Steve Wiebe eventually goes to New York I believe, to a sanctioned machine, and in front of a crowd, gets the record, and makes a kill screen, on a machine that had defeated everyone. They put his name on the website as champion, and Mitchell sends a video of him beating that score. But the tape is jumpy, and questionable, but they accept it, because they know Billy Mitchell. Billy Mitchell is a success in everything he's ever done. Just ask him. He is a god amongst the dorks. And you just wonder "How?" I really liked the movie though. I am a documentary dork, and this is the best one I've seen since "Dig". If you aren't a gamer, there is still plenty enough in here for you. It's not all technical, but is a study in the people involved. I definitely give it 10 barrels out of 10. I think that it is well done, well edited, and gives you everything a mainstream movie would give you, but its real. Sure, its not going to inform you about the rain forrest, or global warming, but it does give you a look at a community that you don't really realize they're out there, and they aren't trying to kill you. And I love Donkey Kong

I must admit, Will Farrel grows old quick in my book. I like him in smaller roles, because all his stuff is so over the top, it gets boring. So I rented Semi Pro, mostly because I had seen most everything else that was new and was out, and didn't expect too much. Plus my wife and the boy like these type of comedies, so I knew they'd enjoy it. Surprisingly, I really did too. I think that they did a really good job allowing others to shine, and keep Farrell in the forefront. Woody Harrelson, who I love, and Andre Benjamin, of outcast fame, were the other big names in the movie. And the usual cast of SNL alumni was scattered throughout. Farrell plays Jackie Moon, Owner, Coach, and Power Forward to the Flint Tropics of the ABA. It's set back in the 70's, at the time of the ABA/NBA merger. The fashion and attitude alone makes for good comedy. The NBA is taking 4 teams, and Jackie wants his team to be in the top four, so his is one of them. The only problem is, they're horrible. Moon isn't a coach, he's a motivator and promoter. Andree 2000 is Coffee Black, his selfish star scorer. He does a pretty good job in the role too. I like him as an actor, having seen him in most of his movies so far. Woody Harrelson plays Manox, a point guard at the end of his career who Jackie trades a washing machine for. He's part of the prerequisite love story, and there are some funny moments there. I like Woody Harrelson, and whatever he does is gold to me. But the script is pretty predictable. They play to get in the top 4, and have a pretty good time doing it. The gags are hit or miss, and they do hit more often or not. I really like whoever did the costuming. The uniforms were a hoot, and their day to day outfits were spectacular. I was definitely pleasantly surprised. When it started, and from the previews I'd seen, I figured a 5 out of 10 at best, but I'm gonna go with 8 short shorts out of 10. I laughed out loud, and watched it twice, and would again.

Yay Rambo, it's been years since one has been released, and it wasnt out long enough for me to catch it in the theatres. I was on call, then just didn't find the time. So I rented it last night. It started out pretty slow. Stallone someohow overacted by not saying a thing. When he finally meets the missionaries, he was a mumbling mess. Rambo is making a living finding snakes and fish for an exotic animal show, or something like that, somewhere on the border of Burma. A missionary group shows up, and they want Rambo to take them up river to Burma, so they can do their work in war torn Burma, which is controlled by an evil General. Stop what you're thinking. You aren't getting an Oscar winning script here. It's bad enough Stallone tries to put in a moral thought in it. It works decently, and you have to get him into the war somehow. So of course, he brings them upriver, because the one woman talks him into it (women are wiley, even Christians), and away they go. He shows why he's Rambo along the way with some river pirates, and drops them off, after they are all disgusted with him. Of course, they're captured by the evil General, and the games begin. The leader of the church comes back, and pleads with Rambo to take a band of mercenaries he's hired back up there, to spring the missionaries. The mercenaries have no clue who their transport is, and when they get there, Rambo grabs his bow, and goes to join them, and they tell him to stay. Then the action begins. You know what's gonna happen. But I have to say, whoever did the war effects, A+. Absolutely gruesome and raw in parts, I loved it. Stalone was Stalone. The less he spoke, the more I liked it. The one thing I will say about him, he looked fat. Huge arms as usual, but a puffy face, and always kept his body pretty well covered. I think he's still in shape, but age is catching up to him. Or he's refusing plaxtic surgery, and God bless him for it. The other actors were pretty good, but I don't go see Rambo for the acting. The bad General stood out, because he looked like a weasel, and played a great, viscious one. The script was probably ten pages long, and gave me exactly what I needed. And despite what it sounded like, I could actually believe it happening like that. The action was good, the script was doable, the dialogue was Rambo...I give it an 8 out of 10 exploding heads. I'll buy it, and watch it when I don't want to think much, and enjoy it every time. Isn't that what you want out of a movie?