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What are you waiting for?
It's 4:00 A.M. and I'm awake, thinking, or.....trying to rationalize what I'm feeling. A few hours ago, I was chatting here on fubar with my love. Screen to screen, yet hundreds of miles away. In another time zone, so far away. Yet, I felt as though she was beside me. I could almost hear her breathing, almost feel her holding my hand. Hundreds of miles away.
At some point of course, we will have to say goodnight. So far away, yet right at my fingertips. And then she is gone for the night, and I find myself alone. Laying here staring at a screen that doesn't change. Selfishly hoping for one last "I love you". But I know it won't appear. And loneliness settles in. It's like...darkness wraps around me and I'm cut off from the rest of the world.
So thats it I realize now. She is my world. My universe. And when we say our goodnights the light fades to black, and the warmth turns to cold. The radio plays the songs that remind me of her, or maybe everything reminds me of her. Reality is that, these things don't remind me of her, because I'm already thinking about her. Her beautiful face I can see, and her sweet voice I can hear.
So maybe it's not so dark here, and not so cold now. If I stop thinking about goodbyes and start looking forward to the morning I'm not so lonely anymore. Wrapped in the warmth, and guided by the light of her love, she is still right here with me, hundreds of miles away, but in my heart.
Now I can rest in the comfort of knowing that someday, there won't be anymore goodbyes, and no more screens to seperate us, hundreds of miles away. Not only will I have the warmth of her love, but I will feel the warmth of her body next to mine.
This is my revelation of the night. The answer to what has troubled me for days. Now it's time for me to sleep and hopefully I'll see you in my dreams.
