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What are you waiting for?
It's 4:00 A.M. and I'm awake, thinking, or.....trying to rationalize what I'm feeling. A few hours ago, I was chatting here on fubar with my love. Screen to screen, yet hundreds of miles away. In another time zone, so far away. Yet, I felt as though she was beside me. I could almost hear her breathing, almost feel her holding my hand. Hundreds of miles away.
At some point of course, we will have to say goodnight. So far away, yet right at my fingertips. And then she is gone for the night, and I find myself alone. Laying here staring at a screen that doesn't change. Selfishly hoping for one last "I love you". But I know it won't appear. And loneliness settles in. It's like...darkness wraps around me and I'm cut off from the rest of the world.
So thats it I realize now. She is my world. My universe. And when we say our goodnights the light fades to black, and the warmth turns to cold. The radio plays the songs that remind me of her, or maybe everything reminds me of her. Reality is that, these things don't remind me of her, because I'm already thinking about her. Her beautiful face I can see, and her sweet voice I can hear.
So maybe it's not so dark here, and not so cold now. If I stop thinking about goodbyes and start looking forward to the morning I'm not so lonely anymore. Wrapped in the warmth, and guided by the light of her love, she is still right here with me, hundreds of miles away, but in my heart.
Now I can rest in the comfort of knowing that someday, there won't be anymore goodbyes, and no more screens to seperate us, hundreds of miles away. Not only will I have the warmth of her love, but I will feel the warmth of her body next to mine.
This is my revelation of the night. The answer to what has troubled me for days. Now it's time for me to sleep and hopefully I'll see you in my dreams.
1: How can I care what you think, if I have no idea what I think?
2: Are these bars here to keep me in, or you out?
3: What is the square root of pie? A slice?
4: Apocalypse is upon us! (Twice actually....Apocalypse Now, and Apocalypse Now Redux)
5: Hey nurse...you poke me in the ass one more time....I'm gonna poke you.
And my injection might CAUSE an infection!
6: Why would you say that? What? That! What? Nevermind...
7: Wow that chic is hot! Should I piss on her, or let her burn?
8: If looks can be decieving, imagine what words can do.
9: Don't judge a book by its cover. Read the last page, then decide.
10: And finally...you've made it this far down the list..And I'm the lunatic?
Oh and, one last thing...I saw an episode of Mythbusters claiming a jawbreaker (candy) can randomly explode in your mouth.
Well, so can a penis....but you won't see that on the Discovery Channel.
Okay, I'm done now. Have a great day!
Let me start by saying this....these are MY thoughts and MY opinions. And you may disagree with them. That's fine. Feel free to be critical and tell me why you disagree and what your thoughts are. Who knows...you may just change my opinion. However....name calling, cursing, bashing and profile wrecking WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. That being said....here we go....
I love you....three words. Easy to type. Easy to say. Right? But what is love really? It's not words typed on a keyboard, or even spoken words for one to hear. It is an emotion, and a very powerful one. When you tell someone, I love you...and your throat tightens, or tears come to your eyes. Your heart races and you are flooded by the warmth of comfort and safety. That IS love.
Love can be as small as a tiny seed. But when planted, it will grow if it has what it needs. Trust, caring, respect, honor, friendship. Among other things, and not always in that order. It will grow in to a beautiful thing that can last forever if it is taken care of. But if not, it may simply die away. If mistreated however, it will grow out of control and change into something like a hurricane or earthquake, destroying everything in its path, and taking everything from you, leaving you empty and cold inside. It may even kill you.
Love....true, honest, real love is such a powerful thing. You cannot control it. But you should feel blessed once you know it in your heart. Love should never be taken for granted.
Whether it be a lover, a spouse, brother or sister, mother or father, or just a great friend....do not make the mistake of thinking that love will always be there because it may not be someday and you will be left alone and wanting. Honor the ones that love you and return the love if it is in your heart to do so.
I know these things because, after 39 years of life, I have discovered it for my own. The one that loves me, loves me more in a day than any other could in a lifetime. I am honored and blessed by this. And even though I love her, and cherish her with all of my heart, I fear it would never equal the love she gives me. But I'll never stop trying.
It is my hope that everyone can experience true love in their lives. Imagine what this world might be like then....
So..... if I haven't bored you to death with my drivel and you've made it this far, I thank you, and appreciate you taking the time to read, and take a look inside my heart.
Have a great day,
KevinG
