Daughter of Hell's blog: "Quitting Smoking - for the ninetyth time this week"

Well this is the start of Day 4 without a fag. Hmmm how do I feel? I am not quite sure, me concentration has gone out the window a bit more than it normally was. I am starting to feel the benefits of being able to breathe properly which is probably a good thing. Still feel wiped out and tired but that may have something to do with me attacking the house with a hoover on Sunday for the first time in many moons. I have been getting emails off the no smoking woman in work and did partner up with another guy who was quitting but he has been off all week and apparently folded on the first day. I do have Ruth and Patricia on me case every day asking about how I am doing, which is good at least they are taking an interest. I have the patches so at least I am not entirely nicotine free. But the hardest thing of all is because I am that used to rolling my own I kind of miss that, I did consider just rolling them for the other half but that would be too tempting and because he is still smoking I am staying out of the living room for now. At least now that they have banned smoking in pubs and clubs here that I wont have to worry about being in them until I step outside and see all the smokers. Dont know how I will handle that.

I am fookin hopeless when it comes to stopping smoking, anyway lasted for three days. The place where i work are having a sponsored quit smoking program so i have that and two of the girlies will kick me arse if i smoke after monday, they will bombard me with pink and frilly stuff i have been warned

Well this is my second day without smoking and its driving me nuts, I was okay when i am at work but when i come home its pure torture even with the patches, i keep reaching out to grab the cigarette papers to make myself a smoke and then realising I am not supposed to be doing this anymore. I think thats the hardest part, also I just want to eat more as well its a good job there is no food in the house or I could be the size of a three bedroom semi detached house by the end of the week. I managed to avoid all the usual Valentines day shite or so I thought, the other half looked at me this morning and said "that's seven years then" I am so glad he aint one of these romantic bastards, his sarcasm is quite refreshing at times although it did take me ages to get used to it and realise also that he just cant help himself hahahahahaha we live and learn and rock and roll

of how many times I have tried to stop smoking, over the past three weeks I have had bronchitis and chest infections which meant it was really difficult to breathe, Dr told me I had to quit this time cos it will get worse, already on the super duper antibiotics and steroids. So anyway Day one I have the patches again so trying this again, I am determined that this will work this time round although yesterday I didnt want so i had smoked what I had left last night to start without the temptation, So Day One here goes I am just glad the team leader is on holiday, me and him dont get on and things whill be easier to deal with this week.

to not having a cigarette, can someone tell me why its so hard to refuse a cigarette at the weekend and in the early hours of the morning, i dont seem to be able to get past this bit

I got extremely shitfaced last night and ended up smoking some tobacco, so it was just a mini relapse, I now know that I wont be able to drink again till i am truly off the cigarettes but had to push it, I drank a bottle of jack daniels to myself, first time I have done that in a long time, had the hang over from hell this morning and had to go to work, I was in a bit of a rancid mood, so if I offended anybody in lost cherry land last night I apologise. Back on the nicotine patches and have locked meself up in the doghoose for my bad behaviour.

Well its been three days since i last had a cigarette after about 29 years of smoking, had to give up for health reasons, could no longer run for a bus and was coughing up bits of lung everywhere which aint attractive, so am on the nicotine patches and being like oscar the grouch on acid hahahahah so if you are having the same problem and could do with someone to talk to who is as well let me know as i am in between, I dont belong in the realms of the non smokers yet and I dont belong with the smokers no more, its hellish being in limbo, got to try and not feed my face till it bursts now.