And some fake life dilemmas...
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do vampires get AIDS?
Do fish get thirsty?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
Have you ever wondered?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows?
How come I can pick my ears but not my nose?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How did a fool and his money get together?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
If a cow laughed, would milk come of out her nose?
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?
If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Are female moths called myths?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?
If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girls Scout cookies made of?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If humans have nightmares, what do horses have?
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
Is "tired old cliché" one?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer?
Is a small pig called a hamlet?
Is drilling for oil boring?
Is duck tape made out of ducks?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
Is the nose the scenter of the face?
Is this bullshit or fertilizer?
Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell?
What's the synonym for thesaurus?
What are imitation rhinestones?
What do batteries run on?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
What happens when you swallow your pride?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved?
What is the speed of dark?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why did the pot call the kettle black?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do flamingos stand on only one leg?
Why do pigs have curly tails?
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
Why get even, when you can get odd?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
