Im 27.... my life has been a long hard road. Already you could write a book on my life and wot i have been through. There are loads of things in my past i am not proud of, but that i would not change because they have made me who i am. I have spent the last half of my life hiding who i really am and closing myself off from the rest of the world. I didnt want to take the chance of getting hurt. On occasion i have met a boy or two who has made me think of wantng to come out of myself, but its never happened. I have always been afraid to take that last step. Untill now. Dont ask me how, or when....but someoen has gotten past every defense i have and i never even seen it comming. lol i was blindsided. All of a sudden a love song makes me smile again. Im dreaming of spending my life next to someone and doing stupid things like laughing till i cry and watching the stars. lol maybe even chasing lightening bugs.... Yeah i know, so not me. Thats where were ALL wrong. Im opening up again slowly. Im letting see me for who i am and amazingly he loves me that way. He actually wants me to be me. Lmao his crazy ass even thinks i am beautiful first thing in the morning when my har is one big red afro and my make up is fubar. Just the fact that he says i am beautiful and means it is enough to convince me lol. So yea i am putting the bullshit and the pain and all the drama behind me. That includes Portland, Oregon. We have decided on me moving out to louisiana in the next 3 months. This is my choice. I am happy and this is wot i want. if you are my friend then please dont ask me if this is wot i really want or if i am sure or if this is a good idea or be mad at me. i have goetten enough of that already. support me. If you have nothing nice to say about it then dont say anything at all. i dont want your shit. Baby i love you. :)
