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SaltyDog FE Country Sin's blog: "Poems"

created on 06/15/2009  |  http://fubar.com/poems/b299824

I cannot promise you every night of my life. I cannot promise to be beside you for every difficult moment, every trial, every hardship with the retards you surround your self with. In truth, I can promise you that I will not be with you for most. I will leave you at times. Any special date to us may be tainted with the anniversary of the death of one of my friends. I will ask you to take over whatever life we have built together for months and possibly years at a time. I will shut you out at times because it will be the best way for me to hold it together at that moment. I will lie to you. I will tell you I don't know things when I do. I will not always tell you where I am going, when I will be back, or what i'm doing. I may not call you for weeks and months and you will not be able to call me. You will ask questions that I won't answer. You will know answers to questions that you will hope you never need. I will share things with my brothers that you will never understand. They will know things about me that you never will. They will be a support to me in some things that you cannot be. I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I will have to get to know our children over and over again. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else. Someone - or something - will always take precedence over you. You may lose me long before you ever thought possible. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me if it all possible. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again.

 

I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise that to our children. I cannot promise you much of anything other than I love you and you will be protected.

 

I can promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have tried to create together. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you and our children. And I will carry you with me in everything until I once again sit just inside your door.

We spend most of our lives dreaming about what if,
Then we go through life with a question mark that
clouds our very existence.
It makes us all walk with our heads down, then we see
a face, a face that beyond all others makes us weak in the knees
and makes our stomach bubble.

Then, once again, the what if plays his song.
What if we were together,
what if we spend our lives dreaming together and questioning life
together. At least we would be happy,
because I can't sleep knowing you're not mine
and staring at the window no longer fulfills my destiny.

For, you are it, and no longer do I cry for you,
because we are together
in my dreams and every night I can't wait
till I fall asleep to see your beautiful face.
So, I dream and dream and I never have a bad day
because of the love we share,
And the love I can always go back too, in my dreams.

I do not enjoy existing this way,

Hiding in the shadows from the light of day.

Unseen by those I see yet felt by those I touch,

I live in a world where war governs much

 

With my weapon in hand and many faces in my head,

I look them in the eyes, those who’s blood I’ll shed.

For I feel no pain and feel no hate,

Towards those who’s life I’m about to take.

 

I am the hand of God; I am the dealer of fate.

From a distance, in the trees and shadows I wait.

With a round in the chamber and the bolt locked tight,

I look them in the eyes through my telescopic sight.

 

They do not see me; they have nothing to say,

To the sniper in the bushes 500 yards away.

They live their life with no care in the world.

They no nothing of the sniper-rifle I hold.

 

I touch the trigger and say goodbye,

The man in my sights is about to die.

He crumples like paper as the round hits his head,

I feel no pain, no regrets to be said.

 

I move to the next, he falls just as fast,

I aim for my targets; I make every round last.

As the bodies pile up, in the shadows I disappear,

My job here is finished, my conscience remains clear.

 

As a sniper, with many faces burned in my mind, there’s no joy living this way,

But for my brothers-in-arms, who’s lives I hold dear, it’s a sacrifice I’ll gladly pay.

I glance upon the memories of us

I begin to cry.

Why did I let you take my heart

And throw it to the side.

I thought things were perfect

I guess thoughts aren't always true.

Forever in my mind

I could see myself with you.

Now those dreams are gone

Faded in the night.

The light that shined around you

Is no longer shining bright.

You're no longer my one and only

It seems you're never there.

Please don't get me wrong

I assure you, I'll always care.

I've given up so much for you

It doesn't seem, you quite know.

I gave you an everlasting love

I never lacked to show.

Calling every day

Just to tell you hi.

Although you never returned my calls.

I never bothered, to ask why.

All I cared was, you were mine

And I was for you

Suddenly I felt those thoughts

Somehow weren't true

I believe, God put us here

For someone else to love

It's funny, I used to think

You were the one, sent from above

Now, I think you were the road

Everyone has to take

The one relationship

To help you see, your mistake

Although, it hurts down this road

We call love

Sooner or later we realize

It helps us find that one

It took some time to understand

Why you did all this to me.

I finally came to realize

I wasn't, your first priority.

You had other things in mind

I often wonder, was I there?

Now it's too late for that

Its me, who no longer cares

I can only take so much

I have nothing else to give

You blinded me so

I thought without you

There's no reason to live

I've moved on down this road

And passed these childish games

I'm off to find a love

With me who will remain

I guess this is my cue to leave

i know you already have

I'll try not to think about it

It will only make me sad

I can't believe it's with you

I let my heart fall

I guess it's better to have loved and lost

Than to have never loved at all.



I want you to know...

I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you

I want you to know that when there’s no us anymore,

I’ll still love you

I want you to know how much you mean to me

I want you to know that all I am is what you’ve made me

I want you to know that no matter how hard you fall,

I’ll be there to pick you up

I want you to know that you don’t have to be perfect for me to love you

I want you to know that when your heart is broken,

I’ll sew the pieces back together

I want you to know that love is real

I want you to know that I’ll love you even when you don’t look your best

I want you to know that if you feel like running, I’ll run too

I want you to know that hearts are broken all too often

I want you to know that I will not judge you on your imperfections

I want you to know that if you need a hand, mine's there to hold

I want you to know that your friendship means as much as your love

I want you to know that my support is constant and undying

I want you to know that no matter how bad things get they can be fixed

I want you to know that your heart is precious

I want you to know that some things end without cause

I want you to know that the littlest things need not break a heart

But most of all...

I want you to know that I love you

 

 

I wonder every day whom I will be married to, 
would she be the right one or the wrong one?
Would she love me and care for me,
or use me and cheat on me?

I wonder every day how my life would end up.
Would I become what I dream about?
Would I become a perfect dad and husband?
I hope so 'cause that's all I want to be!

I wonder when I wake up in the morning,
will this be the last day of my life?
Will this day be the day I meet my true love?
But I somehow know that will never happen.

I wonder if I have met the right girl,
could she be the one, or not?
Will she be there when I need it the most?
I wonder, I wonder...

I love you

Can't you see

I'm not trying to hurt you

Don't turn your back on me


Don't make me cry

Don't make me wait

Tell me now

Don't hesitate


Tell me you love me

Tell me you care

Don't just leave me

I need you there


More than ever

I need you now

To stay with me

To make a vow


To promise me

Our love is true

So,I'll tell you again

I love you!

 

Understand what's meant by the look of an eye,

the depth, the meaning, as beautiful as a blue sky.

The feeling of a touch, by a person that means so much,

and how it tingles through your spine.

When all you can see, is the life with you and me,

and knowing no one like this again will I find.

 

Still I wonder...

Is this it?  Am I done?  Have I found what I've been looking for?

How will I know?  Where will I go? Am I done with that door?

Will I stick with her, for as long as I live,

and be happy for all eternity?

Or will this all wither, after all the time I'm with her,

and end up not satisfying me?

 

Still I wonder...

How can I stop and rest with someone I never used to know?

Without knowing all the rest, or where those relationships could go.

I'm a caring man, this you should know

if you've ever been by my side.

But how can I be faithful, and loving, and true,

with the constant curiosity inside?

 

Still I wonder...

It leaves me here, facing the question of all questions.

Will I be the man I'm expected I'd be?

Will all my waiting pay off, and make me happy for time all?

Or will it be just us three?

Sitting under the the moon,

Looking into our eyes.

They twinkle and shine,

Like the stars in the sky.

 

The touch of your hand,

Your strong and warm embrace.

The tears start to fall,

At the touch of your face.

 

To feel you hold me in your arms,

And tell me how you feel.

Means so much to me,

It proves our love is real.

 

I can feel you breathing slightly,

When you hold me near.

It gives me chills to think,

That you are really here.

 

When I woke up the next morning,

You had already gone.

Nowhere to be found;

How do I move on?

 

How do I move on,

Not knowing the truth?

Was it a dream, or was it real?

Please give me a little proof.

 

Please tell me I wasn't dreaming;

That we actually held hands.

Or was it all my imagination?

And once again I lost to love's demands.

 

For you are there?

And I am here?

Please help me,

This is my biggest fear.

 

The fear of losing you;

It scares me, ya know?

Don't ever say good-bye to me,

And I won't ever let you go.

 

One day this dream will come true.

You will finally be mine.

Just believe like me;

It's only a matter of time.

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