“Piggy Pie” (Old School)
Once upon a time there were three little pigs
Who went out into the big world?
To build their homes and seek their fortunes.
The first little piggy, his house is made of wood
He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood
He likes to fuck his sister and drink his moonshine
A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine!
I rode into town with my axe in my holster
Everybody knows about the wicked piggy boaster
The sheriff at the border, he tried to take me out
I drew my axe with the quickness-and cut his Adam’s apple out!
Walked in the village and to the piggy's place
He opened up his door and shot me in the face
And blew me off the porch-and blew my head in half
But I'm a Juggalo so it only made me laugh (ha ha!)
Axe in hand, I rose like the dead
And swung with all my might- made a thump noise in his head
Since we out west, I grabbed a shotgun
And blew his fuckin tongue out the back of his cranium!!
CHORUS:
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothing like a sound when you hear a piggy die
I might choose a gun (NO!)
I might choose an axe (YES!)
The Carnival's in town- come and get your piggy snacks
The second little piggy, his house is made of brick
And this little piggy is a mother fuckin dick
He lays down his rules and reads you your rights
In that funny lookin car with the little blinkin lights
I drive a Volkswagen bug 17 deep
Packed fulla Juggalos, lights out and we creep
To the piggy station and lay on the horn
First piggy out- we blow his lungs out his uniform
Now they in pursuit like Starski and Hutch
But there’s only two of them-the rest are out to lunch
They call up Dunkin Doughnuts to gather up the rest
25 piggies with they bullet-proof vests
We lead them in a chase, they bustin off rounds
But now they all fucked cuz we at the Carney grounds
And they gettin swallowed by their very on breed
DARK CARNIVAL and wicked clowns because we need....
CHORUS 2xs
The last little piggy, his house is made of gold
He lives in a mansion on his own private road
I started walking down it- the guard he told me wait
I snapped his fuckin neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate
Cuz this little piggy must defiantly die!
How my life is lookin off and toss it in the sky
And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil
And pull it out the sky and beat it with a shovel
People in my city, they fightin for they meals
He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with hundred dollar bills
A richey is the devil- he never will admit it
So I'm 'a cut his hand off and slap his face wit' it
Opened up his door, he sleeping in his bed
I grabbed a brick of gold and slapped it upside his head
He begged for his life, I told him its too late
And tied his neck in a knot and watch him suffocate
Cuz I need...
CHORUS 4 xs
