Jim walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender yells at Jim, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
Jim says "No, what?"
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Jim "He eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill and for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While Jim is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies Jim.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Jim. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first
