MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMBAT OPERATIONS
Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.
You are not a superman.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
Peace is our profession, mass murder's just a hobby.
Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity.
If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
B-52's are the ultimate in close air support.
Remember that napalm is an area weapon.
Mines are an equal opportunity weapon.
Smart bombs have bad days too.
There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
It's not the one with your name on it, it's the round addressed "to whom it may concern" ya gotta think about.
If you hear the bullet pass, it’s already too late to duck, but remember that bullets are social creatures and never travel alone.
Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Teamwork is essential -- it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU.
Tracers work both ways.
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
Remember: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
No plan survives the first contact intact.
All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.
The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.
If you are short of everything except enemy, you're in combat.
When you have secured an objective, don't forget to let the enemy know about it.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.
Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
The problem with taking the easy way out, is that the enemy has already mined it.
Fortify your front and you'll get your rear shot up.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.
Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.
If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.
Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.
The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the Main Attack.
Recoilless rifles -- aren't.
Neutral countries -- aren't.
Suppressive fires -- won't.
Friendly fire -- isn't.
Weather ain't neutral.
Interchangeable parts aren't.
When you are forward of your position, the artillery will always be short.
When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long.
In war, important things are simple and simple things are very hard.
Communications will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support .
There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
Sniper's motto: "Reach out and touch someone."
All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Once the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -when they're ready. - when you're not.
A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both.)
The one item you need is always in short supply.
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
The crucial round is a dud.
Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
Walking point = sniper bait.
Murphy was a grunt.
