Cross Roads Correctional Center Chain of Command
Superintendent
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Advises God on policy
Ass. Superintendent
Leaps short building with a single bound
Is more powerful than a shunting engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks to God
Major
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind
Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine
Is nearly as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks to God if special request is granted
Captain
Barely clears little huts
Loses tug of war with locomotives
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Talks to himself
Functional Unit Manager
Makes high marks trying to leap over little huts
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals
Lieutenant
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued live ammunition
Can float if instructed how to use a life jacket
Talks to walls
Sergeant
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says “Look! CHOO CHOO”
Wets himself/herself with a squirt gun
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to themselves
Corrections Officer I
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in teethe and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
HE IS GOD!
