Overwhelming Surrender
I hide behind this misconception, misunderstood,
bewildered that I have not disappeared altogether
having made myself so small and unimportant
that people walk right by me
never having seen me at all.
My pain is like a glass sheet cut into different
shapes to fit whomever might happen by, that
they might show compassion if I have any
meaning or value worth appreciating
should I live or die.
Having all of the earthly needs a person can buy
my soul shrieks of loneliness, wondering
where the whole is of which I am just one small
part, my other half, the piece I am missing
the balance, symmetry of my other.
companion-less, deserted, left alone to float
in this sea of unappreciative people who come
together and separate like they have no concept
of what real longing for a joining with the
other part can truly be.
So curling up into myself, I, my soul, freeing
my heart from any hopeful alliance, afraid that
I in my desperate longing might reach out
for the counter-factual wrongness, prolonging
the ache that is me.
