amawitch's blog: "gains and pains"

You make a connection with another soul Someone who listens, responds consoles. The world seems different, distinctively new The outlook on life a warm crimson hue. Friendship, response, a reply in the wind Can keep someone going, "alone" redefined A person out there took time from their day To write you and let you know its okay. Listening to emotions come from a word Reflection accepted acknowledged, heard. Oh what a gift that energy brings Isolation divorced, free with new wings. Thank you for hearing my words indirect Meanings lurking that somewhat reflect How I might feel, just what I believe Wrong or mistaken, you just receive. Your response a discovery, revelation for me You heard me, still care, helps set me free. Ability, and power to find who I am Love knowing that someone just gives a damn. amawitch/2007

That impish grin and those eyes aglow, with its spark of life so many outgrow. Busy fingers, a busier mind, complex, yet simple and unconfined. The years ahead pregnant with unknowns, incomprehensible a numberless zone. For you who only can count to ten. Amusement, enjoyment, over and again. You sing with delight, one song in two Mixed up lyric mean nothing to you The joy you feel when you raise your song Doesn't matter, Please sing along. Those brand new foods, brand new sights Tomorrow again might still delight Your eyes that saw them day before Today a delight to re-explore. Innocent youth, I pray you keep As in your dreams you rest and sleep Visions of dancing stars and light Remembered tomorrow in older twilight. amawitch/2007

Spring has arrived, the lifeblood, the heart and soul of life. Green shoots everywhere, peeping out with sleepy eyes, Leaving behind empty nests of winters slumber Babes, in wonderment marvel at new sensations. Herself especially pleased at the marvels nurtured Through that months long and balmy sleep, Hurrahs, rejoicing in the comfort and wellbeing That shows in the rekindling of new life. She lifts up her skirts of glory, rides a beam of light hearted happiness, her pleasure obvious in the way she celebrates her maternity thrice happy that all is in harmony. Shrills and whistles, tweets and shouts A clatter of noise audible to the heavens That once again the world awakens to celebrate A new and novel difference from the year before. Herself sighs now, her head on His shoulder Happy in the unfailing preservation of her love. The Earth, the foundation of a durable creation Unparalleled, exceptional in any universe amawitch/2007

My faithless ego walks a circle clearing a path, a gateway to unease. I have decided a fresh start is in order,a progression from my hidden self. My soul, that personal me has hidden behind words a way to obscure the black hole I buried myself so to stay disembodied, incorporate. Slowly my procrastination has failed, demanding individuality show proof of a back bone, giving strength and reinforcement to that particular faithless ego. So hard, so hard to argue with yourselves, the frightful many that reside within the innermost self, sharing your differences the writer and the hider. Deep sigh, a mourning, loss of a hiding place, my surroundings familiar, but no longer just my own. My muse is in celebration glorifying its winnings, redemption, healing. 2007/amawitch

I see with blinders on, obscuring what should be clear Looking left to right, I strain to see what I am passing by Only to be met with dark maleviolent emptiness So in anger I do nothing but forge forward. What happened to me that I should be so blinded? Unable to sense that, that is around me. Sensitive to each nuance of emotion that I feel But unable to share clearly the meanings. I hurt: I anguish over the least problem, perhaps complicating them a thousand fold, unable to puzzle out how to simply look left and right and see clearly with out fearing rejection. The answer I am told is to simply do what you wish Say what you feel and all will be well But I am afraid of every offering, of every effort That it be met with coldness or indifference. So, do I stop my efforts, or cease my offerings? No, thats not me, or who I am. I am a loving, kind and caring person, learning to love again. In a world that has forced me to see with blinders on. With the help of loving, patient friends, I will lift the corners of my blindess, trying to understand what the world looks like all around me without------ my blinders on. amawitch/2007

As a little girl I could not quite understand why the world had to be black and white. I always saw a rainbow of colors, everyone called it dreaming, pretending. "Come down from there", "get your head out of clouds" "Face reality". "Need no one" "Love your life quickly, never trust a soul". Well....... I still Hear the trees talk to me, telling me their tales, Hear the wind calling me, caressing me, her child. I wonder if that babbling brook still laughs when the children swim. I still like to lay in the grass looking high above into the clouds, my arms stretching toward the heavens. Or walking barefoot in the mud. How fun to blow bubbles with a friend. To me it seems that the only thing changed are the people around me. They are older, ignorant, full of blind dreams, dying everday. Having forgottend that at one time they did know How to live. amawitch/2007

Where do you go when you run from here? What ghosts of pain and loss do you fear? What secret place have you found out? that keeps you running all about. I was your very closest kin, Now that needle has moved right in. I fear for you in that dark plain One day you wont come back again. Before I lose you to the wind Hold my hand and be my friend. Let me know what I can do To show you that I love you too. Please know that in my house of light I can perhaps hold back the night. Allowing you to just be free for a few hours of your agony. I cannot magik 'way the pain I can only blot away the stain. that life has marked you for its own Until you go to your new home. So please stay with me for a while That I may enjoy your loving smile. You see I live in darkness too of pain and aloneness just like you. I have no where I can run And when your here you are my sun I can be yours, if you'll let me try To share the burdens of lifes sigh. I cannot take away the pain I can only push it away again. And push it I will if I can but see Your beautiful happy smile for me. Break the needle, break the need Come to me, on my faith feed Grit your teeth, shake and sweat Get it out, so we can forget. It ever happened..... amawitch/2007
Buried at PhotoCasket.com

I was asked for a map of the four winds. I looked up in horror as I realized that I had lost my way. The gathering storm. Whispering to me of my neglect, I chase after the last gust of wind, weeping for my loss. amamwitch/2007
www.hostdrjack.com

An assemblage of shiny pageantry materializing magikly. Illuminating the way for lost travelers Against a sky of ebony. 2007/amawitch

Life Cramp My mind is having a fit, screaming and yelling to get it all out, driving me to insane levels of ridiculous and impulsive thoughts. What the hell did I do to deserve being alone all these years without a shoulder, or ear to hear me, support me in my depressions or cheer me on. Why the hell do my kids not listen to me, appreciate what I have done, and give credence to a wiser and life learned individual, who only loves them. Why cant my folks take me as I am, a writer, an empath, who crys when the world hurts and only wants to make things better, for those who have not. Why do I have to be unemployed, over qualified under degree'd, wanting only to live on more than what the government says I earned when I worked for years. I think I feel better now that I have had a fit, feeling a bit foolish, but relieved to know the pressure is gone, with the simple act of writing it down. And tomorrow is another day
thediamonddew.com © Copyright 2007 Amawitch-granny witch