eLuSiVeKiM's blog: "ok folks..."

The "friends with benefits" phenomenon is the coolest thing Steve Jobs didn't invent. (And it’s here to stay) Especially for single men. Well, truth be told, for women, too. The reasons "FWB" is/are cool are several. Single men and women get to have casual sex with someone they know well, but doesn’t want any commitment from them. "In case of emergency, break glass" sex is a great reason for FWB. There's no "get to know" someone stage to go through. You already know your FWB.

But, from a single man's standpoint, FWB's are basically a dream come true. What single man wouldn't want to hang out with a woman they could watch a Browns game with, and then create their own halftime show? What would be better than pounding a few beers with a lady, and then you two doing some "pounding” yourselves?

Let's face it. The FWB thing was destined to not only blow up, but become a permanent fixture on the dating scene . Think about it. In this world of fast food, 4 G, and Twitter, sex was destined to be the next thing or activity to get the McDonald's treatment: Packaged and served up pronto. Generation X, Y and Z (or as I call them, the iGerneration), the common thing we don't have is patience.

And patience doesn't work in a country where almost everybody has a job, a class (or classes), or a side hustle to deal with. Add to that possibly kids and other family obligations, and you can see why being able to "order" instant sex with a quick text message is perfect for this day and age.

Ironically, the “friend” part of the FWB is what makes it work so well. For any single man with true FWB’s, you pretty much know their general health status (no STD surprises to deal with), their mental state, and their character. You know if your female friend is a decent person, or a budding serial killer. And it doesn’t matter if your female FWB is nuts, if you are a single man. Because you two are just having sex .

Crazy girls go mental on their boyfriends anyway…rarely the FWB.

**This is a man's point of view ..is he right?

Thick girl when I see you pass
I can't help looking at your ass
Thick girl your thighs are so extreme
I'd lick between'um and make you creme
Thick girl don't hurt nobody with your thick body
Damn girl, you're the thickest thang in the party
Thick girl got a lil extra cushion
Her body can take whatever he's pushin
Thick girl don't hide under baggy clothes & be scared to be free
You might as well show us what we already see
Thick girl we see can see your thick outlined shape
The big booty you have, the jiggle it makes
Thick girl I'd rather look at you
mouth watering, juicy meat, in my point of view!

Me and some of my friends can be described as thick, CHUNKY, chubby, BIG-BONED, fat, Healthy and the smallers ones would be considered curvy. I've NEVER been skinny, even when I was smaller I was still categorized as being a "THICK" chick...

On many of the social networking sites I would browse profiles and see women that I would consider small or thin referring to themselves as thick or curvy. They ranged from sizes 6-10 with a little booty and boobage but they called themselves thick.

Some would see me out and about and consider me morbidly obese because they would never want to be my size in a million years. I can imagine some women would rather drink clorox on ice than to be as big as me.

So the debate is; Should plus size women refer to themselves as curvy when society sees us as FAT??? Hmmm?? Both sides of the spectrum could argue this topic back and forth all day, whether or not these little video chicks with boobs and a pinch of badonk are curvy... and/or.. Are my fellow plus size divas PHAT or FAT?

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we'll bet you don't know them all - and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy "Did you know?" small talk, but they'll help you see all the benefits a satisfying liplock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.

4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.

5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.

6. Ever wonder how an X came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.

7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.

8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.

9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.

10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You're in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you've beaten that record, it's time to celebrate!

The inferiority complex. Colorism. He wants a trophy wife. Issues with his momma. Acting ‘”white.” Ego builder. False sense of self-worth. Rejection of his heritage. Acceptance from white society. “Doormat mentality” of women.

Every time a brother walks hand-in-hand with a white woman we have some type of psychological diagnosis for him. At least one sister puts her nose up in disgust and another cuts her eyes. On the surface, the anger comes from him looking like a sell-out or choosing her as a trophy piece. “If these were slavery times, she wouldn’t dare been seen with him,” I’ve heard friends say.

Jill Scott received attention from her commentary about black men with white women in her Essence piece a few months ago. “We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a black man even looked at a white woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death,” she said. “In the midst of this, black women and black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed.”

As insightful madames, we have two choices: we can dig into the issue as deeply as Scott did, or resolve just a few basic questions. One, is it that we feel black men are choosing to be with white women — or purposely rejecting black women? And if they’re rejecting us, does it mean we have less worth to them or maybe we did something wrong? Or are we simply jealous?

There has been discussion, debate and drama over this issue for years. Different social theories have placed all black men who date white women in a box, but in the end, it’s all ridiculous.

As we all know: dating, love and marriage sometimes go beyond the realm of science to a faraway place called personal preference. And as much as some would like to deem every black man in an interracial relationship as having an “issue,” it’s really his prerogative.

At the end of the day, it comes down to wanting someone with a strong sense of self– even if she just happens to be white.

I'm sorry if I'm not a whore

I'm sorry if my boobs aren't big enough to "satisfy" your needs.

I'm sorry if I'm not skinny enough for you to see my ribs.

I'm sorry if I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl".

I'm sorry if I'm not tanned enough for you.

I'm sorry if I'm not a playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you.

I'm sorry if I'm weird at times

I'm sorry that I write about you every day

I'm sorry if I don't have a dream body that turns you on.

I'm sorry if im not tall enough.

I'm sorry if I don't have sex with you on the first date.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying

I'm sorry if my hair is not long enough.

I'm sorry that im different from those other girls

I'm sorry i won't hang all over you, and be a complete tramp to make you happy.

I'm sorry that I actually care about you

and actually call to see how you're doing.

But most of all...

I'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are.