Sooo it's a cruisy Sunday morning and I'm feeling a little evil. So here's another competition (yeah I know most of my whoring friends have already bought their autos - but it's not like you bastards aren't going to whore again!):
Yes, she is going to kill me. But she's agreed.
The best fu-persona drama story EVER
To clarify - we want the biggest bullshit story you can think of. We want how 73 people died in a car crash where you were the only survivor. Your fu-hubby beats you whilst cheating on you with the gay mexican pool boy. You're a vigilante on the path of justice for the persecuted and nobody understands you. You've got 83588 diseases, but are also currently short-listed for the Nobel Peace Prize for all your saintly work with orphaned children in Rwanda whilst pole dancing for Tiger Woods on the side. You've fathered 17 children on fubar alone. Scammed out of 'insert item here'. Etc etc.
Points will be awarded for:
Bribes, including toe and finger salutes (hair optional), will be considered.
It'll close when Helly gets around to picking a winner. Editor's note: Never, ever, EVER give Hellyion so much as a hint of power. She goes nuts. Competition will close when judgeS (note plural up there bish) agree. Or one has been beaten into submission with a sufficiently large stick. Or, apparently, eaten.
NEW EDITOR NOTE (I'm liking this font colour change thing - yes I know this is getting beyond long)
The summary of entries thus far (in no particular order) - yell if I've missed anything -as of comment 259:
Dysskrasia - shut in, rejected by fu-prom queen, cockless because of tragic porn accident, mother dying, uncle molests him and, most tragically, never gets rated.
Suga Lips - actually every fubarian entering this competition - having eaten the original fubarian and using their name/assuming their identity/personality, whilst bribing BabyJ for fu-monies (I think this is right...it got confusing)
Sasquatch - chased across country by a lunatic, suicidal online ex
Boo - dying, chasing Sasquatch across country
Supes - dead
Dianne - fu-boy deceived by less than attractive fu-girl, home wrecking and job loss and fu-love/heart break
Joey - collecting the corpses of dead friends to keep as dolls
Blooky - a juggalo plotting to kill the wife of his lover Dr Doom, whom he met on a My Little Pony fan website, hatchets and overtones of potential paedophilia
Hellyion - just a goddamn cheating ol' hoar.
Addendum: Yeah sue me, I don't care, I'm confused again and I can hardly read this font
I've lost complete track - I know Helly's still a cheatin' ol' hoar and that's about it.
Gotta go to work now, so I can pay all my fu-debts - keep 'em coming, and we'll sort it all out tonight (or earlier if I can skive off)
Btw, your bribery skills SUCK