Hey God it’s me again you’ve heard my cry before
I’m the one who gave up on you when I thought you shut the door
I’m the one who fought you each and everyday and
the one who couldn’t even bow my head to pray
I’m the one who cried each and every night hoping one day I would finally die
I’m the one who would never let you in but every time I thought you failed me I got mad at you again
I’m the one who fought you when you told me to obey and the one who said maybe tomorrow not today.
But then one day you came and took me by the hand and told me it would be okay and that I needed to understand that never once did you give up on me or shut the door in my face, that when I felt that tug on my heart that was you in your place. That every time I ignored you I broke your heart in two and when I called on you your joy was renewed. But God I’m at that point again where I can’t take it anymore where something I can’t handle is festering in my core. Lord each time I call on you I feel so out of place like I’m back at the beginning in the empty place where all there is, is wall and I can’t find a way out so I give in shut down and fill myself with doubt. Lord I need you more than I’ve ever needed you before Lord please show me the way through the door and when you feel me falling please hold out your hand cause I can’t do this on my own and I can’t go back there again.
