Well,yesterday we went to see Daves doc and he told us that Dave is going to have to see a Spinal Surgeon and get his back fixed.He told us that drugs and phy theropy will not help.The bone is still pushing on the nerves and that in turn is makeing his leg numb and after a certion point his leg will get weaker and weaker then die.And Dave cant feel anything in his leg.One night he told me to pinch his toe so he could see if he had anything feeling in it what so ever and I pinched so hard with my nails I cut his skin and he felt nothing.I like the docs he has been seeing and I trust them.They have always been up front about everything from the first day we saw them includeing the chance of Dave haveing to have surgery.
I saw this comeing and so did Dave.We had been talking about him haveing to have something done.I was ready to hear that he was going to have to have surgery today when we went in but when they said it I still got upset.Dave had to beg me not to starte crying in the room.Ive cried a few time today.I cant help it. Even if the whole surgery is very simple and just a matter of moveing the bulgeing disk back to were it should be and putting in a pin or 2 to keep it in place its still surgey on his spine.One slip and boom Dave cant walk.One slip and boom Dave can only move his eyes.Or one slip and my soulmate,the love of my life, is gone.I cant be without Dave.Me and Dave say all the time that as long as we are togather,everything will be fine and its true.When we wasnt togather our lives were shit.Dave told me how much his life sucked when I wasnt in it and its the same with mine.Dave says all the time that he doesnt know what hed do without me that i do everything for him.And i think that he does everything for me,he loves me,he makes me a stronger person and he shows me that im not as worthless and stupid has i have thought.Dave never worries,he says with as much as i worrie i worrie enough for the both of us and its true.I worrie about things WAY to much ad I am trying to not worrie so much but fuck its hard not to.
What Im hopeing for more then anything is that Dave gets his life back,that we get our life back to what it was.Dave is so sick of being at home.He misses working.He hates being home all day doing nothing.
I will keep everyone posted as things happen.
