Here is part 2 of my last blog.

Like i said in my last blogi thought that i would never kno what tru love is. And you kno i was right. I tryed things out wit my kids mom again. And you kno what i got hurt again. So now when i look at my son he knows that i am hurting and the only thing he could say to me was daddy everything is ok and give me a hug and kiss. And my lil girl just gives me hugs and kisses. If there is one thing that i kno that they are not goin to break my heart. I love you renzo and nikita. You two are my life and soul.  I just hope that the one that i am wit knows that i really do care for her and love her. I just dont want to get hurt again. I thank god everyday for my two kids. I am truly one lucky guy to have to wonderful kids that bring joy to my life everyday that i am wit them. I want to shout out to all the single mothers out there i kno that you have a hard job to do and i got noffin but love for ya. But you kno what all the single fathers out there that sees there kids. Keep doin your thing your kids love you. And i think of all the ones that i lost in my life and i wish that they were here to help me though this. R.I.P i love you and miss you guys and you will always be in my heart .

Here is part 2 of my last blog.

 

 

Like i said in my last blogi thought that i would never kno what tru love is. And you kno i was right. I tryed things out wit my kids mom again. And you kno what i got hurt again. So now when i look at my son he knows that i am hurting and the only thing he could say to me was daddy everything is ok and give me a hug and kiss. And my lil girl just gives me hugs and kisses. If there is one thing that i kno that they are not goin to break my heart. I love you renzo and nikita. You two are my life and soul.  I just hope that the one that i am wit knows that i really do care for her and love her. I just dont want to get hurt again. I thank god everyday for my two kids. I am truly one lucky guy to have to wonderful kids that bring joy to my life everyday that i am wit them. I want to shout out to all the single mothers out there i kno that you have a hard job to do and i got noffin but love for ya. But you kno what all the single fathers out there that sees there kids. Keep doin your thing your kids love you. And i think of all the ones that i lost in my life and i wish that they were here to help me though this. R.I.P i love you and miss you guys and you will always be in my heart .

Sometime i think that i am not going to know what true love is anymore. I have feelings for someone and its hard for me to tell that person my feelings. Cause i don't kno what she will say or do. She does not live in the same state as me. And i always said to myself that i would not get like this again. I just can't help myself. I really like this girl alot and she knows that i do. But i don't kno how she feels bout me. She has been there for me since the frist day that i met her. And she knows that i have a son to. Its just i think that i am going to be a single father for the rest of my life. Everyone is telling me that i will find that someone but i truly think its not goin to happen for me. I know that there is nothing wrong wit me. Its just i am so sick of being alone. I just miss that feeling of being loved and being with someone. Being able to go to the movies,dinner just staying at home and watching a movie and cuddling up and being able to hold that someone. Sometimes i wish that it was not hard for me to tell that person my feelings its just i am scared of getting hurt again and i kno that my heart can't take it anymore. I am not looking out for myself i am looking out for my son i don't want him to see me happy and than get hurt cuz i kno that it will kill him inside. And i don't want that to happen to him. I look at me son everyday and i thnk god for blessing me with him. Without him i would have nothing at all. I love him with everything that i have.

In the past couple of months i have been feeling like that i could never find true love again. And i sit here and think that maybe i am right. I have one love in my life and that is my son. Sometimes i think bout what my life would be like if i stayed wit his mother. Thank god that i am not wit her anymore. My life was hell being wit her i could not work without her thinking that i was cheating on her. I could not have female friends without her thinking that i was cheating on her wit them. It got to the point to where i stop talkin to everyone and didn't talk to anyone at my job to. There is alot of things that i miss. I miss being able to hold someone at night being able to kiss someone before bed and miss getting up next to that someone in the moring. Everyone may think that i am a thug and that i could never love anyone. But the truth bout that is i am not a thug. I just really don't care what other ppl have to say bout me. I am glad that i have my friends and glad that i have my family and my son. And i am glad that i have my fubar friends to. Sometimes i just feel like breaking down and crying all the time. And i kno that its not good to do that. I would like to thank all of my friends for being there for me and all the ones that i talk to all the time. And to the one that i miss so fucking much you kno who you are if you read this. good night all