Gambatte21's blog: "My Last week of Freedom"

created on 04/23/2009 | http://fubar.com/my-last-week-of-freedom/b292296

posted on 04/23/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;08:04&nbs-07:00;pm

my last week of freedom
http://fubar.com/my-last-week-of-freedom/b292296-1014299

I am sitting at the car dealership, getting my truck service and replacing the 8 coil that went out of the spark plug, figure the odds of that happening with a week before deployment, not mention having a baseball hit you windshield last week. Oh well life goes on. I have been trying to figure out how I write this blog about a week before I leave. It is kind of hard, mainly because there is a wide variety of emotions with just as intense power where you are just numb from the intensity of emotions, however I am a vet been through this task too numerous times since the turn of the century.

The biggest emotion at this moment with a week left of civil freedom, is a frustration. The level of frustration has dramatically intensified. It is hard to explain the level of horniness that I going through right now with no visible chance of getting any relief. It was bad enough having to deal with the slow process of healing from the divorce and try to build up relationships with women just to get in the game, so maybe there will be some type of chemistry and situation where you might have a chance, now you have this big freaking clock ticking and I really do not see anything happening. The reality of anything happening during the deployment is like the odds of winning the power ball. Come on, I will be on a base where the male to female ratio will probably be like 50 to 1. I am not some high ranking fobbit who is on the base or Special force operative who can make the female in question life a little more comfortable so she has a vested interest in her investment. Sorry that this seems cold and harsh but I am just pointing out the facts of what I saw during the last deployment about those who got some action the last time. A friend of mine suggest that I make some booty calls but I told her that I really do not know any women here to make that call, more over I guess it is part of my metal that I really do not treat women that way. While I do have needs like most people, I have somehow have this moral compass that kind prevents me from being some narasstic self centered bastard who just concerned about getting their rocks off with no concerns about the other person. Then again it would be nice to have the luck that one guy in my unit where he got some oral gratification from his babies mom that he can not stand and a telephone number from a stripper in the same day, but then again I do not want anything from my ex so that is not really an issue with me. Oh well things do happen for a reason. Another factor to consider any pre deployment hook up or relationship is usually a recipe for disaster, and God forbid something does happen to me I really do not want place type of burden on someone else.

Another level of frustration is dealing with my ex, ever since I moved back north she has this strange check list in her head where she says we need to do this and we need to do that especially with concerns of my oldest son and his impeding adventure to college. There is really not much negotiations on my part, I will pay x, she will pay y and the difference has be made up by my son working his ass off, like everybody else, with the understanding that if he farts around there, I am not paying for it, he can join the military or find a job and learn to pay for it himself. I am giving him an opportunity not a free ride. Last night, she kind of pissed me off, I know she was meaning well but as usually with her I can screw up a wet dream timing, One of my son’s friends father is helping my son with his car problems, advance auto repair not being one of my forte’s, she commented that I need to Call and Thank him for his help, like I am an ungrateful bastard….Bitch. Then again, I do appreciate his time and effort but I am kind of busy deploying to defend his family against some very bad people, where is mine? Regardless, I will take care of it my way not hers. She has this uncanny knack to always devalue everything I do. Again, one of the freaking reasons why I do not want anything from her. Regardless if I curl her toes and make the hairs on her ass stand up about 95 to 98 per cent of the time, better cook than her, take care and interest in my kids, help out around house, and do not beat on her, she would find something else to fault me with. Always needing, never appreciating. Oh well, you are not my problem anymore.

As usual, there is some strange irony again in my story, We are getting like a 3 day pass after our pass and review in June before we get on the plane to the sandbox, my mom thought it would be better if we went to the Gulf Coast with my kids and family during that time. She was thinking of like Gulf Shores, however she ended up with Destin. Destin the last place where I spent a family vacation, my going away present before I got the kicked to curb cell phone call two weeks later from the ex. She said she got a room near a water park, I asked her the name of the Water Park, Big Kuhunas , oh the sweet sweet Irony of this, almost the same location as the last time I went about 8 years ago. Hopefully the results after this vacation is better than the last one, then again her kicking me to curb while painful was the best thing to happen to me. Oh well.