10drxtcMEMBERWOLFPACKFAMILY LORD MASTERM...'s blog: "P.H.D. certified tests"

Merritt, your Emotional IQ score is: 144 The above chart shows where you fall on the Emotional IQ scale compared to others. You scored higher than 99.8% of other test takers. Your Emotional IQ measures how well your emotions guide you towards smart decisions. In fact, increasingly, researchers are pointing to Emotional IQs as better indicators of overall success in life than traditional IQ tests alone. Healthy relationships and flourishing careers are impossible without interacting successfully with others. Even someone who possesses a genius Intellectual Quotient (IQ) can miss out on the wisdom that comes from understanding another human being. What makes Tickle's Emotional IQ test more comprehensive than others, is that we structured the test to actually isolate different interpersonal skills and how well you use them to your benefit. As such, each of your scores on the 4 emotional intelligence dimensions, Perception, Expression, Empathy, and Emotional Management, are independent of one another, despite the fact that only in combination do they yield your true EIQ. That also means that you can score high on all dimensions, low on all dimensions, and any permutation in between. There are plenty of reasons to understand where your strengths and weakness lie. In so doing, you can play to your strengths and work on improving your skills on all the dimensions. As we noted in your initial results, your emotional strength, or the dimension on which you scored the highest is Emotional Management. For an in-depth look at those dimensions, read on about your Emotional IQ profile. Perception Expression Empathy Emotional Management 1 5 10 The psychological community agrees that the dimensions portrayed in the above chart are the cornerstone of your Emotional IQ. Here's what they mean in this context. Perception Your perception score measures your ability to perceive other people's emotions. It also indicates your innate ability to recognize other people's emotions through nonverbal communication channels. In other words, it gauges how well you pick up on the things people aren't saying. And that's a powerful skill because nonverbal communications — body language, facial expressions, touch, tone, and appearance — often convey a person's true feelings. In fact, some researchers estimate that 93% of all communication is nonverbal. The higher your score, the stronger your edge on the competition. Expression Your expression score measures the extent to which you allow yourself to feel and to express your own emotions. It gauges how comfortable you are in expressing the full range of emotions — both positive and negative. Being able to express a range of emotions implies that you understand the difference between what you really feel as opposed to acting in the manner you think you are supposed to feel. When you get better at expressing emotions, you also accept those emotions as valid — and valuable — in making decisions. Empathy Your empathy score represents your ability to understand and appreciate other people's points of view. Experts agree that your ability to see things from perspectives different from your own will make you a better communicator and, in general, a more perceptive individual. It also indicates how much benefit of the doubt you are likely to give people and how much leeway you give them before you form conclusions about them, their ideas, or their motives. Emotional Management Your emotional management score reflects how much you let your emotions affect the world around you. It measures how good you are at understanding your emotions and acting upon them. Emotional management also gauges whether you let your emotions drive your actions or whether you tend to contain them and base your actions on things more objective than your emotions. Now that you better understand the dimensions that make up your Emotional IQ, we can take a look at your individual scores. Remember, like everything in life, you can always improve your rating on these dimensions. In fact, Tickle's test is designed to help you do just that so you can more easily get what you want in your life. The perception scale Perception 1 5 10 You scored 10 out of 10 on the perception scale. That means you are highly skilled at picking up on non-verbal cues. You're very sensitive to subtleties of people's actions and gestures, and can feel out the "vibe" of a situation more readily than most people. In short, it's hard to slip anything past you. For example, if you noticed someone glancing at their watch during a conversation, chances are you'd be aware of the various signals this action is sending. Are they anxious to end the conversation or are they just checking the time? From there, you would be able to read other signs — perhaps their tone of voice is clipped or their attention is diverted — to get a clear idea of what they are thinking. "Getting the hint" is definitely one of your talents. But being so clued into actions around you can also throw you off at times. While you are sensitive to non-verbal cues, that doesn't mean that your interpretation of the cues are always correct. Perhaps your friend with the watch is simply checking the time, after all. Sometimes people's motives for their behavior are complex and will be inaccessible to you, no matter how closely you pay attention to things. You need to make sure you're not just picking out non-verbals that confirm your expectations. If you're going to read into the cues, you have to take in all the cues, not just the ones you're looking for. You won't be doing anyone any favors if you disregard actions that might contradict what you expect from a situation. Another thing you may need to keep in mind: Not everyone is a non-verbal, mind reader. Even if you think the subtle cues you send should be enough to make your point, you need to remember that others need verbal confirmation. Many people just aren't as perceptive as you. The gift of perception is most useful when it's understood that real communication can only be achieved only when both perceiver and messenger are conveying and comprehending messages with their true intent. The skill of perception is one that can always be improved no matter how adept you may already be. One way to become better at decoding people's emotions is to watch yourself express emotions in the mirror. This helps you systematically distinguish different facial expressions. Take a look in the mirror and try to imagine how you would expressively react to the following scenarios. Think about the facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. Surprise — Think about walking into a surprise party in your honor Disgust — Smelling milk that has gone bad Fear — Think about hearing an unusual noise in the middle of the night Sadness — Think about a tragic death you've heard about on the news Anger — Think about being rudely treated by a clerk or waiter Happiness — Think about receiving praise and a raise at work Mild Irritation — Think about listening to your friend brag for the twelfth time about the raise they just got when you didn't get one Once you've practiced these different emotions, take note of how easy or difficult they were to convey. What are the chances you would've been able to pick up these signals in others? Once these scenarios become easy for you to express, incorporate more difficult ones that are a mixture of different emotions. Keep in mind that a good game of charades is helpful for this, as well. The expression scale Expression 1 5 10 You scored 9 out of 10 on the expression scale. You are very comfortable expressing your emotions. Sometimes people mistake having emotions with experiencing only the negative ones. Not you. You look forward to authentically experiencing emotions in their full range. Whether calm or intense, positive or negative, you are good at taking emotions in and processing them. Furthermore, you are in tune with both your conscious and unconscious feelings as to why you might be feeling a particular way. You have learned how to effectively rely on your gut instincts, and more importantly, you have learned not to diminish the importance of emotions in your life. For example, if you'd been working for a promotion at work you might have been confiding in a close co-worker about wanting a certain position. Then, a couple days later you might learn the position you'd wanted has been given to your co-worker! Although rationally you understand she wasn't vying for the position behind your back and it was a matter of circumstance that she got the position over you, you still feel disappointment and anger. Chances are, because you are someone who is comfortable expressing emotions, you would not hide your disappointment simply because it's not "rational." Instead, you realize this is a situation that needs to be addressed between the two of you. You know that ignoring this touchy situation could breed resentment further down the road. Simply put, you have a need to clear the air. Whether you do this effectively or sensitively is another story, but the point is you do not waste energy protecting yourself from what you feel. Myth 1: Emotions are more primitive than reason. Emotions originate in the brain just like reason, even though you might feel them in your heart or in your gut. They are equally valid when making decisions, the key to making informed decisions it to consult both sides of your brain. Myth 2: Clamping down on your emotions is a sign of strength. Unfortunately, too many people mistakenly believe that being able to turn off their emotions makes them powerful. Conversely, some people think that feeling and emotion gives you permission to act upon it. The key to managing your emotions is to strike the right balance. You must first allow yourself to feel your raw emotions, then you must temper them with the rational side of your brain. You're so angry you want to punch someone? Then let yourself feel that emotion, just stop short of acting on it and make those emotions available to your rational side to balance out. Myth 3: Some emotions are bad to feel. All emotions are informative. Just because our emotions sometimes put us in an unpleasant state does not mean they should be avoided. Our emotions can tell us when there is something in our environment that needs fixing. Myth 4: The best judgments are ones made without emotion. Our society has valued the rational parts of our brain to the detriment of the emotional parts. Think about how many violent acts are committed because people don't know how to effectively deal with their emotions and instead simply snap. To achieve true harmony within ourselves, both sides of the brain need to be acknowledged and attended to. People who believe in the above emotional myths cling to those legends to justify living their lives numbly. Any expert will tell you, however, that numbing yourself to reality will only lead to exhaustion and unhappiness. Exhaustion will take hold because it takes a lot of energy to suppress your feelings. Unhappiness will set in because people who are unwilling to experience the lows of life are also cheating themselves out of experiencing the true highs. You were born with the same gut instincts that have aided our species through years of evolutionary change and survival. Digging deep within yourself to rediscover your intuition requires that you believe that you do have an unconscious capable of acting without the aid of rational thinking. Exploring how you feel can be scary, but it ultimately proves to be an empowering experience. After all, passionate feelings fuel your thoughts, your ambitions, your desires, and ultimately provides meaning in your life. Try keeping this in mind the next time you're unsure about what you're feeling. Chances are the answer is right there inside you — it might just simply be a case of learning how to listen to yourself. The first step is giving credence to any thought that arises. Remember that just because you're having a thought, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Just acknowledge that it's there. You'd be surprised how such a simple act can sometimes point you in the right direction. The empathy scale Empathy 1 5 10 You scored a 10 out of 10 on the empathy scale. You respond to others with your heart and soul. People sense your genuineness and commitment to being a compassionate person. You are able to not only observe other people's situations, but also understand the importance of empathizing instead of criticizing. You are not one to put down others simply to boost your own self-esteem, and that's because you're good at putting yourself in other people's shoes. You are astute enough to know that sometimes you won't have all the information about another person you need to make a fair judgment of them or their actions. You acknowledge that you don't know their background, their personal or financial situation, or another key element that might be driving them to do something a certain way. You wisely realize this, and therefore can look at people in a forgiving light — at least until you're able to process all the information you need to make an educated and fair assessment of the situation. You also realize that you, too, might come under scrutiny by other people and will want them to think about the true motivations behind your actions and realize that circumstances may drive you to act differently than you normally would. You also have a capacity to understand actions you yourself don't condone or agree with. It is your ability to see many sides of an issue that allows you to do so. All of us need people in our lives who honor our individuality and imperfections. You are a compassionate person who understands that the world is enriched by the presence of imperfect and quirky people. You are generous in giving them the space they need to be themselves — and hopefully this allows you to be yourself, as well. Steer clear of people who do not extend the same support as you do. You may frequently encounter people who latch on to you because they can sense how emotionally supportive you are. Ask yourself: Are they doing the same for you? Of course, they may not have the same level of emotional intelligence in this area as you do. But they should be able to fulfill some of your needs. If you find yourself drained by others, it is time to reevaluate some of your relationships. Simply let people in your life know what you need. Asking people to support you in specific ways is not asking too much, nor is it unfair. You are allowing them a chance to be there for you in meaningful ways. People like to feel needed, so you are doing a favor for friends who genuinely enjoy having a mutually satisfying relationship. As for those who do not appreciate your candor, you may need to establish new boundaries for what you can expect out of them, as well as what they should expect of you. The emotional management scale Emotional Management 1 5 10 You scored a 10 out of 10 the emotional management scale. You recognize that feeling emotions and acting upon them are two separate things. Whether you believe that emotions and moods need to be experienced as they occur, or that they should be channeled into something positive, you are in charge of how your emotions will impact your life. Experts say that the ideally, emotions should guide, not dictate, our own behavior. Emotions are extremely visceral and as such, can hijack our sense of logic and reason. But people with high emotional management scores like you understand this phenomenon, and know how to make decisions independent of the emotions they are experiencing at a given time. This skill in and of itself puts you well ahead of many. The ability to make more objective decisions will likely take you far. Managing your emotions and psychologically taking care of yourself are critical life skills. You are aware that although you may not be able to control the type of emotion you experience or when you experience it, you do have control over its duration and the extent to which it controls your behavior. This is not to say, however, that emotions never contribute to your decisions. At times the emotions you are having are appropriate guides for your actions. And with your keen sense of emotional management, you'll know when and where to base decisions upon them. Although it is a natural and useful emotion, anger can get out of control. Anger that gets out of control or that turns into rage needs to be kept in check. Most people want to act out aggressively when they get angry. Unfortunately, behaving aggressively can lead to violence and unintentional disastrous consequences for everyone. Experiencing anger can be seductive because it feels so powerful. However, you need to ask yourself: Who is in charge here — you or your emotions? The power that you are feeling is most likely one that you have no control over. Being truly powerful is to dictate how you will confront the situation that is angering you so that you can achieve a peaceful resolution. The important thing is to not let your anger lead to more harm for yourself and others. Here are a few anger management techniques for you to think about. Breathe deeply. Simply allowing your body to relax will help its physiological recovery. When you are feeling out of control, step away from the situation. Give yourself time to regain your composure so that you won't say or do anything that you will later regret. Stop thinking too much! Overanalyzing usually leads to a downward spiral in which you start to recall additional real and imagined reasons for why you should be so angry. This only magnifies and distorts our perception of reality in ugly and harmful ways. Instead of getting defensive, get empathic. If you are in an argument with someone, try to take their position and see if you can relate to their perspective. You may not agree with them, but perspective taking should at least get you calm enough to understand what their motives are. When reading the answers below, it's important to keep in mind that Tickle is providing you with the "best" answer and its rationale. Beyond the "best" answer, there are also other responses that may indicate a certain degree of emotional intelligence. In a few cases, multiple answers are listed as correct. = your answer = best answer 1. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Boredom Pride Happiness Surprise Fear Excitement Research on emotional expressions has found that expressions of genuine happiness consist of a combination of smiling, (as indicated by upturned mouth) and a crinkling at the corners of the eyes. Experts say that an upturned mouth without any change around the eye area could be an expression of faked pleasure. 2. Which emotion do you think the man below is experiencing? Sadness Anger Happiness Anxiety Disgust Grief Notice how the skin around his eyes is tightened and his eyebrows are lowered and drawn together? The subject's eyes are narrowed and his eyes are bulged out. The skin around his cheeks also looks raised because he is baring his teeth. These are all non-verbal cues that convey anger, according to experts. 3. Which emotion do you think the boy below is experiencing? Fear Rage Elation Shame Disgust Surprise Here, his expression is one of surprise. His eyebrows are raised so that the eyes appear larger than they normally do as his forehead wrinkles. Look at how his eyes are open wider than usual by the raising of the upper eyelid and the lowering of the bottom eyelids. His open mouth also indicates the feeling of surprise, experts agree. 4. Which emotion do you think the man below is experiencing? Dejection Irritation Fear Surprise Disgust Happiness The expression of fear most closely resembles the expression of surprise. In both, the eyes are widened and the eyebrows are raised. But the brows here are drawn together to produce wrinkles in the forehead. The main difference in the emotional display of surprise and fear is in the mouth region. In expressions of fear, the edges of the mouth are tense and turned downward as seen here. 5. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Sadness Rage Hostility Shame Disgust Surprise The most distinguishing feature of disgust is the wrinkling of the nose. In conjunction with the nose wrinkle, the cheeks are raised and the eyebrows are lowered, making the eyes look smaller. Typically, the upper lip is raised as well. The overall countenance conveys a sense of disgust. 6. Which emotion do you think the woman below is experiencing? Sadness Embarrassment Rage Surprise Disgust Fear Typically, when someone is sad, as the woman in the below photo, muscles in the eye region contract so that our eyebrows are furrowed in such a way that the inside corners are turned upwards. The upper eyelid corner is raised as well. The jaw muscles are slacked so that the face appears longer, and the lips and mouth region are turned downwards into a frown. 7. Concealed irritation or genuine warmth? Concealed Irritation Genuine warmth At first glance it may appear that this woman is genuinely smiling. But looking closer, notice how her teeth are gritted and her lips are slightly pursed around the corners and tightened down over her front teeth. Also, the muscles around the eyes are not contracted so there is no crinkling around the eyes to correspond with the smiling mouth. A legitimate smile from this woman would show her lips relaxing from the top of her front teeth, her smile moving more into a crescent shape and her eyes narrowing with crinkles in the corner. 8. What does this man's body language convey? Excitement and happiness Helplessness and uncertainty Smugness and confidence Anger, but with resolve The shoulder shrug display tends to denote helplessness and uncertainty. The combination of slumped shoulders and the opening of the arms with upturned palms is a submissive gesture. 9. What is this woman thinking? I really enjoy his stories He is so funny Whoa, his is standing way too close to me He's holding me up for my next meeting This illustration depicts a woman's negative reaction to her personal space being violated by the man she's talking to. Notice how her shoulders are stiffened and her back is slightly arched. She is politely trying to re-establish her personal space without taking a step back from him. Also, the expression on her face indicates that she is slightly tense, as does her grip on her coffee cup. 10. The woman in this meeting is thinking: I can't wait to tell her what a stupid idea this is I don't agree, but I'm not going to say anything out loud I wish I had that idea. Why can't I think of the good ones? This talk is so informative — but I don't want to give her credit for it "Lint picking" behavior is often used when someone is attempting to displace their feelings onto something besides what is causing them discomfort. In this case, the woman may disapprove of what her colleague is explaining, or may simply just be disengaged but not feel like she can express her true feelings. Hence her turning her attention to fidgeting with her clothes. While she may verbally agree with her colleague, averting her gaze and focusing on minor behaviors are attempts to conceal her feelings from others. 11. The man in the audience is attending a seminar. What is he thinking? I totally disagree with this speaker I really like what this guy has to say This is boring That is the saddest story I've ever heard The standard arms-crossed gesture combined with a neutral or somewhat negative expression denotes the person is not receptive to comments or ideas. It could be the case that you have said something that they do not agree with. When you are interacting with someone and see this gesture, your aim should be to find out what has caused them to not be receptive to your ideas. 12. What is this gesture signaling? Hostility Openness Frustration Excitement Arms spread wide convey that he is open and receptive. Fully exposed and upturned palms symbolize submissiveness. Overall, this person is displaying a non-threatening attitude. In this section, there are no "right" or "wrong" answers, but certain behaviors are associated with more advanced people skills. Below, the answers are presented in order from most emotionally intelligent (a) to least emotionally intelligent. = most emotionally intelligent = least emotionally intelligent 13. I know when I'm feeling bad, but most of the time I can't really tell why I feel that way. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 14. I get annoyed at myself when I cry. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 15. I cringe when I see someone extremely emotional — whether it's happy, sad, angry, excited, etc. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 16. I'm proud of myself when I put on a straight face even when I'm distrssed. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 17. When I feel strong emotions well up, my first instinct is to control them. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 18. I usually wait until someone else tells me that they like or love me before I tell them so. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 19. I've been known to laugh until my stomach hurts. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 20. I keep a journal or diary to express my thoughts or feelings. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 21. Sometimes it feels like my emotions come out of nowhere and I don't know why I am feeling a certain way. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 22. When I'm undecided about something, I like to rely more on my heart than my head. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 23. I enjoy listening to music or watching movies to experience emotions that regular life does not offer. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 24. When someone has done a good job, I pay a genuine compliment. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 25. It's better to get things out in the open as you're feeling them than to keep your feelings inside. Very much describes me Somewhat describes me Somewhat unlike me Not like me at all 26. Expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Not like me at all Somewhat unlike me Somewhat describes me Very much describes me 27. I usually tell people what I ______ about something. Feel Think In this next section, we measured the extent to which your responses were sensitive, understanding of someone else's viewpoint, and socially appropriate. Even though we provide information on the best answer below, the other responses do vary in degree of social responsiveness. = your answer = best answer 28. For months, you and your friends have been planning a weekend in Las Vegas. One friend calls at the last minute to say she can't come because she has to work over the weekend. What would you say to her? I'd ask her what she was working on to see if she's telling the truth I'd try to convince her to put in more hours next week I'd tell her that I wish she could come, but that I understand I'd remind her how much effort it took to plan this and that she can't back out now Let your friend understand that while you are disappointed, you can relate to their reasons for not coming. After all, your friend may also feel bad for not being able to come — no reason to rub it in. 29. Your colleague at work has just been promoted to manager. The other day she snapped at you for something minor. You think to yourself: This new position has brought out her true nature She's just anxious about her new responsibilities Here, you have the opportunity to blame the situation or the colleague. It takes greater effort and sensitivity to comprehend that sometimes situations produce behavior that we don't understand or agree with. 30. Your friend just started dating someone new, leaving you with unanswered messages and Friday nights spent alone. You think: That's what happens in the beginning of a new relationship My friend is being disloyal It's time for me to find new people to hang out with I should tell her that she needs to change her behavior if she wants to keep me as a friend I need to have a discussion with her about her take on our friendship Forgiving your friend for being caught up in a new situation shows that you are a flexible and generous friend. This question has two good answers however. Another good alternative is to sit down with your friend and ask them what they think, so long as you do not put them on the defensive. The other answers vary in their degree of empathy. 31. When a homeless person approaches you for money, you: Say sorry and walk quickly by with your head down Give a sour look — that person needs to get a job Ignore the person completely Give food instead of money Give some money Smile sympathetically and wish the person good luck While each of us have our own social political views, how we respond to an individual in need of help reflects our degree of empathy. Each of the responses listed varies in their degree of empathy. The first and the last choices are somewhat empathic and the second response is the least empathic. 32. One of your friends decides to stay with his girlfriend even though she's been less than faithful. You think: That's stupid. I hope I am never that desperate I wish he had more self-respect What a hard decision that must have been None of my business — they have to live with each other With this response, you are putting yourself in the other person's perspective even if you do not necessarily agree with their decision. 33. You bring a friend to dinner at Uncle Ralph's. Uncle Ralph accidentally makes an offensive remark about your friend's culture. After leaving his house, you: Say nothing to your friend about the incident Make fun of your uncle with your friend Ask your friend if they took offense and explain your uncle's mistake Put a new spin on the remark and try to make it sound like a compliment With this response, you are being most sensitive to both parties and treat neither insensitively. 34. Your colleague, Jack, has overheard you and your co-workers making plans to go out after work. You debate inviting Jack, but know he is awkward in social situations. Ultimately, you decide to: Encourage him to come along — maybe he'll loosen up with more practice Ignore him, because you can't have as good of a time if he comes along Unenthusiastically invite him and tell him that it might not be his type of thing Pretend you don't see him and keep your head down as you leave Although you may not have wanted to invite this person, you understand how terrible it might feel to be so blatantly rejected. Thus, you put this person's needs above your own in this situation. 35. You've cooked a roast for a family dinner and your new brother-in-law announces that he does not eat meat. Your reaction is: To offer him more salad and look for something else he can eat To be slightly annoyed, but to put the potatoes aside for him To become upset that he had to make such a big deal out of it To encourage him to try some anyway since one day of eating meat won't kill him Your brother-in-law might feel nervous about making this announcement and instead of indulging in your own feelings, answer A shows that you'd be taking care of his. Although it is not always better to put other people's feelings above your own, you have to ask yourself: who is more uncomfortable and who has more to lose in this situation? By acknowledging and behaving in such a way, you're showing you understand this is a bigger deal for them. This section of the test assessed your ability to perceive emotions and non-verbal expressions correctly in others. Below are the correct responses and the answer key for each question in the perceiving index. = your answer = best answer 36. You are on a plane watching the latest Steven Segal movie. Suddenly, the plane begins rocking violently with turbulence. What do you do? I'd continue watching the movie — it's Steven Segal I'd hit the call button and ask the flight attendant what's going on I'd stop watching the movie and keep on alert to hear if the captain has anything to say This response demonstrates that you are aware of being in a potentially stressful situation. Instead of overreacting or denying your feelings, you are in a wait-and-see mode, showing that you are trying to manage your emotions sensibly. 37. When I'm having a rough week at work or at school, I: Distract myself with shopping or other hobbies Talk to someone about it Watch TV or listen to music Take some time by myself to explore what's really bothering me Both of these responses involve recognizing your emotions and attempting to treat your stress in ways that alleviate it without numbing yourself or denying your emotions. 38. At work, a colleague takes credit for one your great ideas in front of the boss. What's your reaction? You talk to your colleague in private and find out what happened You immediately correct your colleague saying that it was really your idea You fume, but say nothing You forget about it— there's nothing you can do about it now In this situation, not confronting your colleague immediately in front of the boss shows restraint and class. Although you may feel like saying something, you know that you may produce potentially unnecessary conflict. Asking your colleague in private about the matter is giving this person the benefit of the doubt. If a sincere mistake was made, then you are giving them a chance to explain themselves and rectify the situation for you. 39. You and a friend have vowed to lose your winter guts with a new exercise program. You notice that your friend has dropped weight faster than you. You react by: Telling them that they look great and to keep it up Reminding them that slower weight loss is easier to keep off Giving them a batch of their favorite brownies they can't resist Being a bit crabby despite your best intentions Telling them that they look scrawny It is hard to feel like you are not doing as well as someone else when you are trying your best. However, recognizing that all of us feel emotions that we are not proud of, but don't necessarily need to act on is a sign of emotional maturity. 40. It's your first day as a telemarketer and your job is to get people to switch to your long distance company. The first twenty calls result in hang-ups and rude responses. What do you do? Quit. That's enough information to know that it's not going to work Start fresh and take a different approach for the next few calls Just keep plugging away through the rest of the day Get down on myself for messing up again Everyone experiences failure. Redefining setbacks as "challenges" and trying new approaches demonstrates that you are not deterred from your goals because of your frustrations. The best method for finding success is usually trial and error. 41. Friend A asks you to set up a date with Friend B. The two friends go out for a short period of time and then Friend A cheats on Friend B. Now, Friend B is devastated and confused. What do you do? Reprimand Friend A for what they've done Tell Friend B something negative about Friend A to make them feel better Feel bad because had you never set them up, this would've never happened Listen to both sides but try to stay out of it as much as possible Stop talking to Friend A and vow to never do set-ups again The third answer, listen to both sides, is best. This is one of those sticky situations in which there is no easy answer, and your response requires that you exercise discretion and try to balance your feelings. Some of the other responses require that you "betray" one friend for the other. By focusing on understanding rather than blame, you can keep things in balanced perspective even though you may have strong feelings about it. 42. You finally get the nerve to ask your new single neighbor over for dinner. In the midst of conversation, a piece of lettuce flies out of your mouth and lands on your glass. How do you react? You're embarrassed and apologize profusely for being so gross You laugh at yourself and turn it into a joke You pretend not to notice, hoping that your date doesn't either Sure, nobody wants this to happen to them. But hey, it happens. Learning to laugh at yourself is the key to self-acceptance. 43. You are in an argument with your significant other and begin to feel like your partner is accusing you of things that you have not done. You react by: Throwing equally unfair accusations back at them Leaving the room without saying a word Proving a step-by-step breakdown of why your partner is wrong Telling your partner that you both need a time out and can discuss it later Apologizing just to end the argument Pointing out all the negative things that they've done too When two people are angry, it is best to find ways to resolve the conflict without escalating the situation or avoiding the conflict entirely. Giving both of you time to cool down and then discuss things calmly is the most effective way to solve the problem in the long term. 44. When your life gets incredibly stressful, what do you do? I carve out some time for myself and do something I like I wait for the situation to change on its own I work harder because I don't have time to indulge in other activities I vent my frustrations to close friends I find ways to reduce my obligations We sometimes forget that our mental health needs taking care of just as much as our physical health does. It is important to acknowledge that we are not superhuman and sometimes need to take drastic actions to make our lives manageable. When the sources of stress are ones that you can reduce, then cutting down the amount of obligations you have is the best long-term solution to leading a manageable lifestyle. If your sources of stress are unchangeable, simply finding time for yourself is your best bet. The other answer alternatives denote feelings of helplessness and resignation without trying to really take care of yourself. 45. You've just found out that your landlord has sold your place. He says you'll have to move out in a week. How would you respond? I'd wait until I calmed down and then call him back I'd immediately call him and demand an explanation I'd go over to his home and have a face-to-face "chat" I'd immediately start packing. I have a lot to do This situation would be highly stressful for anyone. In fact, most of us would be very angry and have a few choice words to say to our landlord. However, if you were being truly strategic, you would learn as much as you could about the situation and see if you could still get your way.