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why marriage is poisonous to sexual energy marriage is a practical arrangement.... two people agree to share responsibilities, chores, expenses because they care about each other and feel that they want similar things out of life. the fiery sexual energy that the couple starts out with an incredible motivator. it has to be b/c that's what keeps the species proliferating. but that intensity, that omg-i-want-u-now type priority is trumped by practical things over time. the urgency of the mortgage and the parent-teacher meetings become bigger than urgency of sexual connection. i've been married twice. faithful marriages both times. but i prefer to take care of my own practical arrangements and have a woman in my life for fun, for company, for friendship and especially for sexual exploration and satisfaction. marriage is just the opposite... i get her help with the practical shit, but wind up taking care of my own sexual needs. no contest if you ask me.
we are taught that marriage is a reasonable and functional approach to life. but i think it's a tradition that has gone on past its practical use. women do not need someone to defend and protect them, to house and financially support them. the only possible reason to marry is to raise children, and even then the whole "forever" thing is just plain silly. you meet someone. you fall in love. the love is real. let's say you get married. now if you are really LIVING life, not just going thru the motions of getting up and going to work and trying to accumulate STUFF that makes your life seem "successful...." if you are really out there living, then you are going to be learning, growing and changing all the time. what are the odds that he is going to learn and grow and change WITH you? marriage tells us to "grow along the same path." but imagine how much more narrow your path must become in order to accommodate that. so you have to greatly limit your willingness to learn, grow and change in order to protect the marriage. but that sacrifice of personal growth, in and of itself, weakens the partnership because partnership is no more than what the two partners can bring to it. had two faithful marriages. but faithfulness doesn..t fix the other isssues!LOL i don't see myself ever getting married again. but i love easily, am very capable of commitment and would certainly live with someone... as long as the partnership is benefiting the personal growth of both of us, rather than limiting anyone.
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