Vixen's blog: "My Dead Life"

Okay here's the situation. The world's most deadly man for two year's in a row is Hank Williams. I'm not shittin you, look it up. He's got 14 black belts in 14 different styles of fighting. He's trained people like Goldberg, Shamrock, and Wesley Snipes. He knocked the UFC champion clear across the octagon with one hit. He can kill you with one hit with accuracy every time. He carries 9 cards and a license for his hands becaue they're leathal weapons. You get the picture...he's a walking death machine. I got to meet him this weekend and he's teaching a class every other weekend here in Lynchburg, VA in the fine arts of Communist Hapkido. Basically he's going to teach someone like me to break a man's arm in one motion and take him to the ground with out breaking a sweat. Those of you who don't know what Hapkido is I'll tell you. Its the martial arts that was developed the defeat all other forms of martial arts. So whatever you know, whether its ju-jitzu, kung fu, tao quan do, whatever....he'll take you down and crush you in seconds.....SECONDS NOT MINUTES. If you've trained with Hank Williams and go to a dojo to join any form of martial arts you will automatically jump 4 belts walking into the class, no questions asked. Hapkido is feared by all others. But let me get to the point... I was going outside to get money out of my purse to give him for the class and he came out with me because he was talking about a particular move. Well as soon as the door shut and he knew no one could hear him he said, "damn you're hot, I'd like to take you and show you a few techniques." I was like WHAT! I just turned and gave him the money and said "thanks" and tried to play it off. Well the shot my nerves all up. He and Dallas are exactly alike in every way (such as being bi-polar with anger management problems and on meds all the time) except for one thing....this guy can crush Dallas and twist him up like a pretzel and not even have to think while he's doing it. Imagine if I'm taking these classes and he gets me alone again and tries to pursue me? Dallas is nuts over this guy...he idolizes him because of who he is and it would crush him if he found out and I of course am a different story. Nobody will come before me with him. So I have not said anything to anybody about it. I want to take these classes with Dallas from him. I mean, I honestly don't think he'll try anything, but it has made me a little unconfortable especially thinking about if Dallas found out what this guy is thinking about me. Dallas would surely challage him if this guy took something too far whether he idolizes him or not. I'm sure he'd overlook the guy just making a comment and moving on. So does anybody have any thoughts, suggestions, or comments? Feel free to say what you think.

So according to my Myspace I have a lot of friends. Yeah sure. These days people have no concept of friendship. Here's what I mean. I planned a party for all of my 'friends' and my fiance's 'friends'. So we had about 25 people who said they were coming. My 2 very closest friends said they were coming to see me finally since I'd only talked to them online for the last 2 years. Get this....NOBODY CAME. NOT ONE. Over a hundred dollars spent for food and drinks for everyone who said they were coming and didnt. It was pitiful. My best friend in the world never even responds to my emails or phone calls anymore. I never did anything to wrong her in any way. I support her no matter what and she finds a new boyfriend and suddenly my calls are unimportant and never returned. Another friend struck off my list. Another good friend of mine meets a guy and gets married and moves away. She's been down here to visit twice and hasn't contacted me either time to see me. One person claims he tried calling me while she was here to all hang out and couldn't reach me. Well I gave her 4 different phone numbers to reach me on. I never got a message from any of them from anyone letting me know she was here. They all know where I live and no one stopped by to see me. One of my other best friends ditched me completely because she hated my ex boyfriend while he and I were still together. I was going to dump him because he was controlling and causing me problems with my friends, but she stopped talking to me all together before I left him so I stayed with him for another year in a horrible relationship because I had nobody else after that. A great friend she turned out to be after 7 years. Recently I made friends with a person I thought I could really be close to. But business got in the way and the minute it got difficult she left me to do it all alone. Her, her husband and brother all turned their backs on me and my fiance when they realized that work was involved in running a business. Since then we've struggled to do the work of 5 between two of us. I told them we were all going to lose everything and they all said "I dont care, they cant take anything from us because we don't own anything". And last but not least there the cousin of my ex who sent me a friend request out of the blue when I hadn't talked to him in over a year since I left my ex. So I sent him an email first and wanted him to tell me why he suddenly wanted to be my friend when he stopped talking to me and said some shitty things about me before. So he sends me back an email that makes me feel bad for being bitchy and I sent him one back apologizing for sounding like an ass and explained things to him on how I felt and I accepted his friends request. He reads my heartfelt email and apology and deletes me back off his page and deletes my nice comment I left for him. I'm sure anyone who reads this will assume there is something wrong with me or that I'm leaving something out. But I'm not. I seriously don't know what I do that makes people toss me aside like I'm nothing. I wish someone could tell me.