An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front
porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy
godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be
granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really
rich."
** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful
princess."
*** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of
them.
"Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF *** there before her stands a young man more handsome than
anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak,
he saunters across the porch in his catlike way and whispers in her
ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered, aren't you?"
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing
out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and
the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking
this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will
be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.
Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a
season pass?"
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Blondes dumb?!?!?
After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk
and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde
walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."
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