god i hate her sometimes.
she did the normal ask-about-the-day and then asked if i had given the envelope to chris (my teacher) for his recommendation (i'd given the other two envelopes to heather and to jake). well i'd forgotten to give it to him even tho it was in my bag and his class is the last class i have in the day. she got on my case sayin that we were running out of time to get my app in (they leave on novemeber 4th or 5th or something to go to the bahamas for my mom's real estate company and my parents want me to send out my app before they go) and that dad says he has to sit down wit me for another 2 hrs to talk about it.
i got mad cuz coming home from skool before homework and gettin attacked wit college stuff is NOT wat i want. my dad has the common app on his computer and all i have to do is sit there and write some stuff and that's IT as far as i know. the only reason he said two hours is cuz he thinks he has to do it and wants details. but then again, this is AS FAR AS I KNOW. i have a feeling he messed it up tho.
but i got up from the couch and had to walk past my mom and she was like "are u ever not annoyed?!" and hit my leg wit her hand. i turned around and hit her leg yelling "dont hit me!" and i kept walkin. she kept yellin stuff and i grabbed my backpack and walked upstairs...i dont remember wat we were yellin bak and forth but she yelled "mayb u should go to college!" and i screamed bak "FINE!! THEN I WONT!"
i dont care anymore if i go to college or not. if i do, my parents will throw the money they spend for me to go bak into my face at some point, they always do...and now i try not to spend money even tho i want to and i feel bad about askin for allowance or a charge for babysittin. if i dont, then they'll throw that in my face too and prolly call me a failure...but i dont want the pressure of gettin in my app everday. i dont need it wit the stuff i'm doing already and if mom's gonna keep doing it, then she can blame herself for me not going. she blames me for almost everything, she needs some blame too. if i dont go to college, i'm moving out no matter wat. i dont care if i become a bum on the street or move in wit one of my friends, i'm moving OUT and doing watever the hell i want. after this year, i deserve that kind of freedom.
to the parents, let ur kids figure out their college stuff by themselves. they know wat's up more than you and how to handle their time (or most of the time). of course there are some exceptions. but, generally don't pressure them into stuff they dont wanna b pressured into...u tell them not to let peer pressure get to them, but wat are YOU doing if u pressure them? it makes parents hypocrites, especially when they find out that you smoked/drank/did drugs and wont let them do it. i mean, i agree that it's not in their best interests to do those things for multiple reasons, but they'll find ways to do them or get to them. personally, i think if they got caught and shown how much trouble could b caused from them (in ref to drugs and underaged drinkin) like jail or something, then they'll realize the risks are real. teens are told that we think we'r invincible and scientists are right, we do. i smoke and i dont think i'll get lung cancer. i cut myself and i dont think anyone will notice. i do think i cant die no matter wat i do becuase none of my friends have been killed and i'v never seen someone dying for real. i think death is out there but that it cant affect me and that's a general mistake teens make.
to the parents, be patient wit ur kids and make sure to make urself approachable. i cant talk to my mom about anything cuz i dont trust her not to get mad. i trust my dad more cuz he has more patience wit me but he doesnt know about anything i do. my mom is impossible to talk to which makes my life harder cuz i feel like i have to walk on eggshells around her so she doesnt know wat's going on in my life...ever. i know i'll regret it in the years to come, but dont let ur kids regret anything they'v done in their lives. make it so if they have to answer a question like "wat do u regret in ur life?" and they can answer honestly "nothing".
