Seduction Style Guide Results
Passion Preludes: The Big Picture of Me
Shady is not necessarily a prude or a “saint,” but the overall answer patterns suggest that Shady is probably very cautious about to whom and under what circumstances to surrender to romantic urges. People in this category may be inherently careful and skeptical by nature, may have been deeply hurt or had a negative sexual experience in the past, or may just prefer taking things slowly in making someone’s acquaintance or in getting involved in a relationship. In wooing such individuals, you may find that it takes them a while to “warm up” to you, though this should not be misinterpreted as disinterest. Sexually speaking, they may not appear easily aroused, despite being totally titillated, with many quite adept at subduing their response until you’ve gained their trust. Once their guard is down, you will find the rewards great, with these individuals often wildly uninhibited and receptive.
What Makes This Type So Attractive? Not to be mistaken for an erotophobe (one who is fearful of sexual intimacy) or sex negative, the low seduceability sort captures the interests of many who are into the following…
• Partners who haven’t established sexual preferences. Whether conservative, shy, rigid, and/or introverted, when coaxed out of their shell, these individuals may decide that you are their lucky guide in introducing them to a wide variety of sex play.
• Playing hard-to-get. Though perhaps not done intentionally, this type can keep woo’ers at arm’s length, ultimately luring those who like to chase and the achievement of having been crowned the “lucky one.” The ultimate reward for such physical and emotional partner selectivity is the stronger shot at a long-term, monogamous relationship.
• Mystery. At times a “hard nut to crack,” this sort can be intriguing in slowly revealing themselves, making everything worth so much more when they do so.
Tips for Tempting This Type:
Shady is probably grounded and realistic, and quite good at sniffing out insincerity and ulterior motives. So… Don’t play games or even bother trying to manipulate this person for a mere sexual encounter. Do be upfront, direct, and completely honest with this person – you’ve few chances to impress someone like this.
Shady may be relatively naïve – a “clean slate” for romantic and sexual experiences. So… Don’t be sexually explicit. Do take on the role of teacher, introducing this individual to life’s sensual pleasures outside of the bedroom first.
Shady may often like to set the pace for seduction and involvement, sexual and otherwise. So… Don’t come on too strong, too fast. Do show class, patience, reasonable amount of self-disclosure or they’ll show you the door.
Bottom Line: It’s important not to play games with this person, So make sure that you’re consistent in what you say and do online and offline. At the same time, don’t be afraid to flirt with this type – and by this I mean mostly projecting good energy and letting them know that you find them attractive.
Step 1: How to Approach Me!
A person’s “approach” to Shady lays the foundation for Steps 2 and 3 of seduction. Three elements help define an overall “approach:”
• What kind of flirt you are (Flirting Style)
• How you pace your interactions (Pace)
• Your dating attitude (Creativity and Sense of Humor)
Let’s explore the elements of an “approach” that are likely to get Shady to notice you.
Know My Favorite Flirting Styles
Online dating involves a wide range of possible online flirting behaviors. Men and women prefer many of the same flirting strategies, but those strategies are often weighted slightly differently between the sexes. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey reveals these hidden trends as well as some new, inside information on how to present yourself as you’re using these flirting tactics. Let the game of seduction begin.
Women’s Top Ten Favorite Ways to Have Someone Flirt with Them
1. Talks about things she likes or dislikes, making comments and showing interest
2. Displays concern for her, her feelings and well-being
3. Shares jokes or amusing anecdotes with her
4. Compliments her on her screen name, attitude, personality and appearance
5. Sends her special/cute email messages
6. Makes an effort to contact her in some form most every day
7. Sends instant messages when she and you are online at the same time
8. Discusses seriously the traits she desires in a partner
9. Shows her your daring or mischievous side
10. Emails her greeting cards, gifts, pictures songs or fun attachments
Flirting Styles that TURN ME ON
1. Mysterious and vague (a person who’s a little elusive and seems difficult to pin down).
2. Coy (someone who’s a little reclusive and who plays hard to get).
3. Charming (a person who’s a flatterer and who quickly gets on your good side).
Flirting Styles that TURN ME OFF
1. Sexy (in-your-face with exuding sexuality and in being flirtatious with words and touches).
2. Manipulative (someone who sends mixed signals and leaves you wondering if they are interested in you or not – basically a person who is into the power dynamics that come with a relationship, and who will ultimately have the upper hand, especially in seducing each other).
Know My Preferred Pace
When it comes to talking to Shady about an offline meeting or date, Shady prefers to have someone communicate with them via:
instant messaging
a chat room conversation
Generally speaking, Shady prefers communicating with someone online at least two weeks to two months before meeting them offline. Therefore, allow Shady ample time to assess the chemistry and comfort level between you. Individuals like Shady tend to think it is important to be cautious before moving a friendship or potential romantic relationship to the next level. But special people are worth the wait.
A note of caution from the relationship experts! Warning signs of online predators or people with abusive tendencies include someone who:
• Makes demeaning or inappropriate remarks.
• Provides inconsistent information about his/her age, appearance, marital status or employment.
• Refuses to provide a recent photo or series of photos.
• Refuses to talk on the phone as the relationship develops.
• Insists on seeing (or having) photos of your children or knowing considerable details about them early in the relationship.
And whenever meeting someone offline, note these safety tips!
• When you’re ready to meet someone in person, choose a public place such as a café or coffee shop, preferably during the day.
• You may want to keep the first meeting casual and brief (e.g. an hour).
• Take your own car or transportation. Don’t offer to pick up your date or let them pick you up.
• Tell a friend or family member about your plans and where you’ll be on your date.
• Never bring your children with you when meeting someone for the first time. And be hesitant about showing photos of your child as well.
• You can have a friend sit at a nearby table in a coffee shop or café to keep an eye on you, if you would feel more comfortable.
• Carry a cell phone with you on the date for emergencies.
• Never leave your food or drink unattended.
• When it’s time for the date to end, leave on your own. Avoid going straight home and drive to the store or another public place.
Know How to Talk to Me
Communication is important both to men and women – and it is an underrated aspect of seduction. Knowing what not to talk about with a particular person can be just as important as knowing what is fine to talk about. Here are the trends Plenty of Fish’s Seduction Survey identified for women. These will be useful when communicating with Shady.
Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics
1. Hopes and aspirations
2. Hobbies/interests in general
3. Music
4. Dreams
5. Romance
6. Friends
7. Travel
8. Vacations
9. Movies
10. Entertainment Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics
1. Politics
2. Other dates
3. Past relationships
4. Science fiction
5. Religion
6. Celebrities
7. Science
8. Antiques
9. Money
10. History
My favorite conversation topics – in Shady’s own words!
1. Jobs
2. music
3. fun
My least favorite conversation topics – in Shady’s own words!
1. family
2. past relations
3. sex
Know My Preferred Dating Attitude
Shady’s answer patterns suggest there should be a good response to someone whose attitude or temperament is downright effervescent. Bottom Line: Show off – even exude – the side of you that is high energy and even a little wild. Shady wants to see your sense of humor, creativity and intelligence as well as a positive attitude throughout your words and actions.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you get to break the ice with this type of person:
• “What are your guilty pleasures in life?”
• “What is the oddest thing you have ever had a dream about?“
• “How would you dress up for a fancy date on the town, a costume party with friends or a role play adventure with a lover?”
Step 2: How to Date Me!
Building on the “approach” is the way you handle actual dates. Dates should be fun for both individuals and allow the couple to begin knowing each other on deeper level than what is possible with casual online dating. Dating is where you truly explore and assess the chemistry, friendship and overall compatibility between you. However, people’s dating preferences can vary widely. So, below are preferences to keep in mind for Shady!
Know How I Like to Pace a Date
To Shady, a first date should last One to two hours , and the date would ideally be Somewhat planned – I like to have a general idea of what we’ll be doing.
Know My Favorite Dating Activities
Dinner is the classic date – and for good reason. It allows two people to focus on each other in a romantic environment, while satiating their palate and providing the opportunity to suggest ways two people can be mutually pleasured later. But, men and women both agree that some spots are more appropriate than others. The new Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered what places are hot or not. The list below shows the top ten choices. Restaurants at the top part of the list are rated the most favorable, whereas those at the bottom are rated less favorable. Notice how those that are least preferred may reflect lower levels of romance to some people. Keep that in mind if you take Shady to dinner!
Top Ten Restaurant Types for a Date
1. Casual dinner
2. Pub
3. Retro bar with live music
4. French cuisine
5. Ethnic
6. Pizza place
7. Western
8. Salad bar
9. Sushi bar
10. Family dinner
Of course, there are a host of dating activities besides the classic dinner and a movie. The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey found which date picks for women are the best and the worst:
Women’s Top Ten Date Picks
1. Restaurant
2. Taking a romantic walk
3. Park
4. Coffee shop
5. Live music
6. Comedy Club
7. Zoo
8. Bowling or Playing Pool
9. Amusement Park
10. Movies Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Date Picks
1. High School Reunion, Work party or Wedding
2. Antique show
3. Shopping
4. Mixer
5. House Party
6. Cultural Event (opera, ballet, etc)
7. Dance Club
8. Sports activity
9. Sports event
10. Stay in and rent a movie
Favorite dating activities – in Shady’s own words!
1. dinner
2. pool
3. bar
Least favorite dating activities – in Shady’s own words!
1. movie
2. swimming
3. races
Know My Expectations for Ending a Date
Assuming the first date goes well, Shady may take it as far as a kiss goodbye on the cheeks. Shady probably likes to take my time getting to know somebody before sharing too much of myself.
Dating Dos and Don’ts!
The Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey presented respondents with wide assortment of factors that can totally turn somebody on – as well as off. Both men and women agree on many of the elements that can make your efforts wildly successful or totally futile. In figuring out how to best woo a lady, consider avoiding the following turn-off’s, as well as incorporating the following turn-on’s. Furthermore, consider ways to maintain behaviors well beyond the preliminary stages of dating, as these factors will also help to maintain passion and intrigue in each other.
Women’s Top Ten Turn-Offs
1. Poor hygiene
2. Bad breath
3. Rude to staff
4. Poor manners
5. Complains a lot
6. Boring
7. Poor listener
8. Puts others down
9. Cheap skate
10. Someone who’s self-absorbed Women’s Top Ten Turn-Ons
1. Passionate
2. Romantic
3. Good listener
4. Good manners
5. Shows good eye contact
6. Easy going
7. Smiles a lot
8. Attentive to her needs
9. Well-groomed
10. Confident
Major TURN ONs – in Shady's own words!
1. good smile
2. nice eyes with eye contact
3. nice hair
Major TURN OFFs – in Shady's own words!
1. bad teeth
2. no hair
3. not fit
Step 3: How to Sexually Seduce Me!
Know My Sexual Personality
One’s overall sexual personality reflects two core meta-traits that experts traditionally refer to as Alpha and Beta. With respect to sexual motivations, Alpha concerns intimacy and affiliation, and Beta concerns power or dominance. This means that those scoring high on Alpha typically approach sex as a means to an end – such as strengthening an attachment or deepening intimacy with a lover. Those scoring high on Beta tend to regard sex as its own reward.
Shady scored lower on Alpha and higher on Beta, so we call this profile a “Tiger.” Tigers tend to push sexual boundaries – theirs and others. For them, sex is more an outlet for adult play and physical pleasure than it is merely a way to express love and admiration for a partner. Tigers do not necessarily use sex as a means to get closer to a lover or to solidify the relationship, Their focus is more that of enjoying pursuit and capture, and taking the lead on how to passionately play with their “victim,” helpless to their invigorating sexual energy and wiles.
In getting to know a “Tiger” better, Plenty of Fish would like to suggest some customized, probing inquiries to help you:
• “How would you describe your boundaries when it comes to sexual activities?”
• “What do you think of the saying ‘sex is a joining of bodies and souls’?”
• “What sexual pleasure pursuit, if any, has caught you off guard as far as what ultimately became of it – for better or for worse?”
• “Describe what it would be like for you to let your partner take charge in the sack.”
• “How have you attempted to tap into your spiritual energy during sexual activity, if ever?”
Know My Romantic Fantasies
Plenty of Fish is about to reveal the latest in research on romantic fantasies – what men and women think about when they’re seducing themselves or a lover. Before we delve into those results, however, it’s interesting to note that, in general, research has found that the differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual fantasies aren’t too great. Both sexes enjoy fantasies involving threesomes (whatever the combination), using a video camera, current partners, reliving past experiences and oral sex. Naturally, however, research has also found gender differences when it comes to fantasy… Women’s fantasies are heavier on new lovemaking positions, sex in exotic places, being “forced “to have sex, bondage, being found absolutely irresistible, sex with a new lover and doing something “wicked.” Male fantasies tend to focus on sensual, nongenital (no penis or vagina) lovemaking, having sex in general, group sex, voyeurism and being aggressive or dominant during sex. That said, here’s what the Plenty of Fish Seduction Survey discovered about the realm of fantasies…
…On to the details
An important part of seducing many women is playing upon their senses and imagination in a way that sets the right emotional mood for physical intimacy and releasing inhibitions. The “right” mood varies, in general, between men and women, as well as amongst individuals. New research sponsored by Plenty of Fish has further discovered some predictable trends for women.
Generally speaking, most women like scripts – a sexy story line, with a good setting, context, and feelings, to get carried away with. Romantic fantasies in which they surrender themselves in a tender way to a mysterious lover or authority figure (firefighter/victim; doctor/nurse or passionate strangers who meet through destiny) are quite popular. On top of that, a number of women also like passionate fantasies that deal with risk-taking and/or impulsive behaviors, such as being with some sort of “bad boy” (think rock star, corrupt police officer, Robin Hood or Julius Caesar). Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some women who really go for themes of dominance, forbidden relationships, or force (though this is not to say that they desire actually being violated in real life). Examples of this include principal/student, rich bitch/hired help, being a porn star, or being abducted or kidnapped. They love fantasies that involve their own attractiveness to a partner, the emotional context for such lust, and her role as her lover’s “toy.”
Bottom line: Overall, women’s romantic fantasies are more contextual, emotional, intimate and passive in nature, involving a great degree of emotional arousal, This is a reflection of the degree of emotional connection that she needs with a lover. So in wooing women who identify with these fantasy descriptors, men should make efforts to stimulate her beyond the physical, wooing her by setting the stage, creating a sensual space and taking the lead on co-creating a storyline that she will be replaying in her head and private moments for weeks to come. Furthermore, men need to realize the importance of patience in realizing her fantasies. For some women, romance and passion build gradually with time and trust. So don’t try to force or artificially accelerate the process to a pace that you may prefer.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Shady:
• “Should a person ever reveal all of their sexual fantasies? Why or why not?”
• “Have you ever acted out a romantic fantasy… and was it all that you expected?”
• “What stimulates the fantasies that run through your head? Books? Movies?...”
• “How do you know when it’s safe to confess your romantic fantasies with a partner?”
• “What are some of the benefits of fantasy for an individual and a relationship?”
• “What are your thoughts around the claimed differences between males and females when it comes to sexual and romantic fantasies?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Romantic Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Shady.
Romantic fantasies I find especially unappealing
Therapist & patient
Cruel brothel boss & sex worker
Rich bitch & poor hired help
Romantic fantasies I find especially appealing
Romantic fantasies I might discover I like with the right person
Cruel brothel boss & sex worker
Abduction/kidnapping
Principal & student
Know My Fantasy Locations
Another critical part of seduction is the physical setting. The “right” fantasy location can really help set the mood and make for an incredible and memorable intimate experience. The “right” fantasy setting varies between men and women, as well as among individuals. However, Plenty of Fish’s new research also reveals predictable trends about what women prefer. Generally speaking, most women like fantasy locations that are private, idealistic and exotic. These settings show a remarkable range, such as under a moonlit sky, near or in waterfalls, secluded picnics, hot tubs, bed & breakfasts, castles, forests, lighthouses, and famous historical landmarks (e.g., Eiffel Tower). On that top of this, a number of women also like fantasy locations that really kick adrenaline into high gear. These are locations that speak to the sensation-seeking side of women – camping, fields, amusement parks, backstage at concerts or Hollywood movie sets, and even images of space and the heavens. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of themes, there are some women who really go for themes of forbidden locations that tap into the idea of lost innocence. Examples of this include parked cars, office romances, childhood playgrounds, haunted houses or high schools.
Bottom line: When it comes to fantasy settings, women tend to be most concerned with privacy and discretion with a lover – the sharing of intimate or exhilarating experiences that make for great secrets and memories. Men should therefore remember that a woman appreciates settings that help show her and make her feel that she’s the sole object of his attention and desire and that acts of intimacy are special.
Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore romantic fantasies with Shady:
• “Should couples take photographs (intimate or not) when they’re living out a romantic fantasy in an exotic place… or should they forego cameras, only taking away memories of the experience so that the details remain forever private between the two lovers?”
• “Do you think a couple can effectively recreate an exotic, fantasy setting in the privacy of their own home, or do you think it’s just not the same as going to that actual setting? Can some be done more easily than others?”
• “You’re sharing a moment of passion in a secluded, romantic spot when all of a sudden a stranger appears! Would you tend to find that situation horrifying, hilarious, embarrassing or a complete turn-on?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Fantasy Locations” that the assessment identified in Shady.
Fantasy locations I find especially unappealing
Abduction/kidnapping
Famous historical landmark(s), e.g., Eiffel Tower, Rome Coliseum, Great Wall of China, Pyramids
Farm/ Barn
Fantasy locations I find especially appealing
Soft music
Vacation
Road trip
Fantasy locations I might discover I like with the right person
Scented candles
Candles
Soft light
Know My Sexual Fantasies
Ultimately, seduction leads to physical intimacy. And just as people prefer certain moods and settings, men and women also prefer particular types of sex play. The new research sponsored by Plenty of Fish discovered some interesting trends for what forms of sex play appeal most to women. Generally speaking, most women like sensual activities that allow them to play with their partners. This includes a strip tease, role play, tickling and light biting, and exhibitionism (getting intimate in public settings). On that top of this, a number of women also like sex play that gets a little on the wild side – things like getting or playing with body piercings, bondage with some spanking or hot wax for added stimulation, wearing stockings and hosiery, and posing for nude photographs or videotaping intimate encounters. Finally, on top of these two previous groups of activities, there are some women who really go for more uninhibited or hardcore types of play. Examples of this include exotic shoes or boots, using rubber or latex, pinching, harder spankings and other types of general B&D/S&M play.
Bottom line: When it comes to sexual preferences, women tend to like sex play that fosters intimacy and a sense of “surrender” to a partner. They also like to know that they are deeply desired. Therefore, a man should give his undivided attention to his partner and ensure an atmosphere of mutual trust so his partner feels free and safe to be uninhibited sexually. He should also explore different types of touch with her, tapping into all of her senses, and respectfully testing her boundaries as far as sexual enhancements and expression go. Next, Plenty of Fish presents some customized, probing questions to help you explore sexual fantasies with Shady:
• “What are your most favorite types of foreplay…and why?”
• “Have most of your sexual preferences come from your own imagination, from sex play with a previous partner, or have they been inspired from what you’ve seen in books, TV, or the movies?“
• “Where are your top three hot spots and how do you like them stimulated?”
Food for Thought! Plenty of Fish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies related to “Sexual Fantasies” that the assessment identified in Shady.
Sex play I find especially unappealing
Body piercing
Spanking/ paddling
Tickling
Sex play I find especially Appealing
Sex play I might discover I like with the right person
Fur fetishism / Doraphilia
Spandex fetishism
Rubber/ Latex fetishism
