i quit smoking dec 05 for my mother for christmas; i picked it up four and a half months later in new orleans. i told myself i was quitting when we moved into the apartment - that didn't happen. i then told myself i was quitting for new years.
jenn's (my roommate) had several monetary influenced attempts to quit, but never made it. i told her several times to throw in the towel and mentally prepare herself to quit with me for new years. she did.
we almost got into a fight a while back 'cause i told her she should try and cut back. but she did. that was a step. and every time we've ever talked about quitting she gives me the "but i don't want to".
of course you fucking don't. you're addicted to it jenn. as am i. you still WANT the cigarette, but until you go to quit, you don't realize that you need the fucking thing. the feeling like you're going to snap the next neck you see just 'cause you can't stop tapping your foot to control your temper. that's withdrawl. yep, you're hooked, too.
last night we sat and bs'd and as i could see her getting ready to give me the "i don't want to's" again i said
jenn, i don't want to be a slave to anything.
it was right when she lit one. the look she gave that cigarette. i thought she was going to put it out.
and it's that one line that's going to get me through this day without one.
