Chrissy in CT's blog: "A new week...."

I wonder at times what in the hell i was placed on this earth for other than incessant problem solving. Im in a blue funk today yet again, trying to problem solve my existence and prepare for yet another issue or crisis to rear its ugly head. Christmas is the least of my concerns right now survival is. Struggling to make it all work...20 years ago i had great energy for such things. But i find as time goes on...its harder and harder to put things right. Im just so tired of doing everything alone. These medical issues have tapped my reserves emotionally, spiritually and financially. Ever been at your wits end, yet try to put on a brave face?!?! for your child, for your friends, family and the world in general? Exhausting isnt it? Just a little bit of a break is what i need, something good to happen in my life instead of the endless barrage of crap im dished up daily. I guess to understand it all i should tell you a lil about what happened today. After these 2 surgeries am out of sick time. I have begged to be fired so i can draw unemployment but no they wont do that. So what to do? Do i quit since i have no gas to get there even if the doc does release me soon? Take a penalty from the unemployment office. Well no, i cant even file unemployment till the docs release me i was told today. No paychecks...no money...no help from anywhere in the government arena. (and George Bush lives here what a fucking joke!!!!) WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!? I've exhausted every church, 211, Salvation Army the list is endless. I did manage to get some temporary help from social services...but as you can see im up against the wall with all these folks. I cant even get the stupid school to pick up my son on a damn bus for school cuz here in texas if your 2 miles out from the school it is your responsibility to get them there....WHAT PART OF I DONT HAVE GAS MONEY DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND?!?!!? So i guess all i can do is take it day by day and pray....ALOT! I do want to say one thing. The support and love i get here from the people who care about me is what keeps me from going insane. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you sure an hell make me blush from time to time...lol. You are the best folks in the world my cherries. Now that im done rambling on for the day and spewing my frustration will close out just by saying...I love all of you and would be lost without each and everyone of you. God Bless each and everyone of you, Chrissy