but what about a brain that knows it's being lied to?
it can't be fooled--only confused.
but what, again, of the other body parts?
the body parts that can't separate now&then, truth&fiction.
the hand the only remembers being held.
the shoulder that remembers being kissed.
the ear that remembers the rhythm of a heartbeat and warmth of the chest breathing against it.
the hair that remembers being brushed aside, and is being brushed aside again.
what of all the body parts that add to the brain, and make up a whole.
what if all the other pieces of a person decided to band together, commit mutiny and they all said
no, this is real and it's right again, and fuck you brain
for thinking differently, fuck you brain. for thinking at all.
and the brain, it's already been muddled by these stupid decisions and this
refusal to move forward,
and it gives up and gives in and says, ok little elbow that remembers being held, ok little chin that remembers being pinched,
you go on ahead and function like this is the real thing, the right thing.
you go on living in your dreamworld, shit, i give up and i give in.
and in a few days when the dust settles and you're remembering how it feels to be an empty hand again, a cold foot and a bare neck, don't you let those sleepy, sighing eyes open w i d e in shock and don't you let that jaw drop.
don't you come crawling to ME, the brain will say, when you figure out it wasn't real. we told ourselves it wasn't real in the first place, you should've listened... it's not my fault you couldn't let go of a few tactile memories and a desire for warmth.
well, SHIT, my brain will say, you should've listened.
and the rest of my body will say "oh brain. oh you sweet, silly little brain.
it's funny you thought you had it straight and
it's funny you thought you knew the truth.
and the funniest of all is that you thought you knew this wasn't real you sweet, sad, silly little brain.
it's funny you thought you ever knew anything at all!"
