sometimes i think you need a slap across the face
not in the bitchslap kind of way but in the
wake-the-fuck-up kind of way.
what happened to you trying harder?
what happened to trying at all?
what happened to being more appreciative, and more responsible
more reasonable and more grown up?
not to mention less bitchy.
shit, seriously, i don't know why i let you infuriate me still but god DAMNIT
has it crossed your mind for even a second that you're pushing everyone away, everyone who cares about you, being absolutely unfair and MEAN to them? of course it crossed your mind...
i'm not giving you enough credit!
of course you knew you were being insulting (cruel almost) and unreasonable... and you knew you were taking a shit all over everyone (all over ME) and pushing us all away...
but that was ok in your book, right?
that was ok and it didn't matter who you hurt
(you don't want to apologize for your actions, right?
i'm sure they were SO fucking productive, no reason
to be ashamed or regretful of them right?)
it was ok because it accomplished a goal
you got rid of anyone that might ever ask anything of you--
anyone you'd made fucking PROMISES to...
anyone who might (for a red second) hold you fucking responsible for anything. god for-motherfucking-bid.
you say everyone needs to grow up.
everyone needs to stop being so childish and dramatic.
well honey, change your name to everyone and start referring to yourself in third person, you might have it right.
i'm not saying i'm so god damned perfect or so mature.
i'm not saying that i was the worlds best friend or anything like that and shit we both know i've fucked up...
and there were times when you were there for me...
and there were times when you were fun to be around...
and there were EVEN a few times when you criticized yourself for a change and said that maybe you needed to make some changes.
(you did need to... but you never did... fancy that--
easier to hide from everything i guess)
i'm not trying to make this about "everything i've done for you" or the psychological reasoning behind you sticking your god damn neck in the sand...
it might sound like it, but that's not what i was trying for...
all i really want is for you to get a fucking WAKEUP CALL and snap the fuck out of it and get help if you need it and...
in your own words which you love so well:
grow the fuck up.
