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Love gained and lost..

Do you all know that feeling of finding someone you love? The feeling of them over clouding your every thought. You constantly wonder what they are doing and if they are thinking about you. WHen your stomach does a flip flop when you see thier name on caller ID or when a message pops up from them? And when you go out for the first time and your legs touch and you don't move away and neither do they. Or when you hold hands for the first time. The way thier skin feels touching yours for the first time. The way thier lips feel againest yours when you first kiss. You know all of the feelings. The first hug, the first kiss, the first time you have sex, the first time you meet thier friends, the whole thing. Isn't that what we live for? I do. I LIVE for the firsts in relationships. I live for the first time you look at them are realize you love them. I live fore hearing those words and know that someone wants to be with you. I live for the times you make love and look into one anothers eyes. I live for the little text messages. But with all those ups, there are always downs. And it seems the older we get the worse those downs are. I sit here and my heart aches for someone. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment and just lay here and cry my life away. I feel so hurt and betrayed by my lost love that I just don't know what to do with myself. And we have all been there. Some of us have been through exactly the same thing, some less some worse and we all hurt in different ways. No one can tell you how much you hurt or for how long you should. No one can judge you or make assumptions for the pain you feel in regards to how long you loved this person. You can be with someone 6 years and hurt the same as someone you loved in a month. Its all about how you love. The intensity you let yourself love. I have loved many people in my time. And yet the two times I have had my heart broke where by far the most intense loves. They were fast and hard and long distance. I have loved quickly before but they have all been different. And even as I sit here still heart broken, I realize that I am looking foward to meeting that one person I was meant to love. That one person that will show me the love I have longed for. The one that will love me unconditionally. I know it sounds stupid but I can't wait to love again, even if I have to have my heart broken again then so be it. But its something that will happen naturally and not over the internet again. Nothing in life is free, and anything worth having is worth fighting for. And since a broken heart can't kill you, it can actually only make you smarter and wiser right?
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