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LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

What qualities should you be looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? Unfortunately I can't answer this question for you. Every person is unique and should be looking for different things. But I can help you answer this question for yourself. You want to look for people who are compatible in the all of the categories listed below. Don't waste your time on dead end relationships, if a person is not compatible with most of these things... well... It's very important to know what you want before you start looking. Most people start seeing someone and just wait for thing to come up that are bothersome, then start questioning if these are things they can live with. It makes more sense to know what these things are, and look out for them early on in the relationship. Remember you are not looking for a soul mate, they don't exist. You are looking for a loving relationship that can last. The Simple things: These are the things you already know you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend: Some physical attraction, maybe a sense of humor, a clean criminal record with no felonies, doesn't inhale when smoking pot. You get my drift, this is the most basic stuff. Your personality: Literally make a list of the things you most value in yourself. These are the fundamentals of your personality. These are the things that are the essence of who you are. Are you a very social person? Are you always happy and singing? Are you a get down to business person? Are you a romantic or a very practical person? Once you have made this list you need to think about the exact opposite and if that is something you can tolerate in a person you are living with and sharing bank account with. For example: suppose you are a very social person and like to hang out in big crowds, would you be able to tolerate someone who prefers quiet evenings at home? If this Is the case what if they are the type that believes "its wrong for a married man or woman to go to a party without their significant other "? If you are a "get down to business person" will living with a jokester help to lighten you up or will you just make want to smack him/her while yelling "Grow Up!" If you are a very humble person, going out with an egotist may be fun for a while but in the long run it can cause personality clashes that be can very hard to live with. Your basic value system. These are the things you most value in life, and can't live with out. If you want kids you are wasting you time dating someone who does not. If you spend every Saturday 12-5 visiting your grandparents, you better make sure that the person you are seeing is ok with this going on for the next 25 years. If you want to live in the country, don't date a person who hates the outdoors. Your general philosophies on life. Examine your general philosophies on life. Once again make a list. If you are a "nest egg person" dating a "Live in the moment person" may be a lot of fun but once you have to sit down and buy a house together and then make monthly payments together, you will probably find this mentality endlessly annoying. If you are a very proper and well mannered person don't date a Neanderthal. Your Ethical positions. Unfortunately this category is too big to make a list. These are the things the will cause you to lose respect for a person in whom they are lacking. Keep an eye for anything they do that you feel is unethical. Do they treat others in a manner that you feel is proper? Maybe you are ok with them lying to someone to protect their feeling but are you ok with them lying to YOU because he/she doesn't want you to "worry unnecessarily" Most of the things listed above may not bother you when dating but will probably become a major issue once you are looking to take your relationship to the next level. If you can identify potential problems early on you can deal with them without the Blindness of love. As I have said before, there is no good reason to stay in a dead end relationship, and a thousand reasons to get out. The earlier you do, the sooner you can move on to a relationship with a promising future. Dating should be fun, and although you should keep these things in mind when dating, don't let it get in your way of having a good time. This is precisely why I want you to identify these things in advance, so you don't have to think about them while on a date, you only have to look out for them. Secondly please don't jump to conclusions. Early in a relationship, when you don't know some one very well it's easy to jump to collusions. Please, give people the benefit of doubt, just don't be naive.
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